Vin Diesel, tattoos, snowboards, anarchy!
Every week, Entertainment Weekly is looking back at the biggest movies of the summer of 2002.
Join us for a rewatch of the first true summer of Hollywood’s strange new millennium.
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LEAH:2002, Darren, what a time to be alive!
What an X-treme time: We had theX-Games, a.k.a.
the dirtbag Olympics for skaters and motorcross racers, andPibb X-tra, the “bold” alternative to Coca-Cola.
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Will he steal a Senator’s Corvette andBASE-jumpit off a bridge?
Free-fall from an airplane on a snowboard just to start an avalanche?
Paraglide into a Czechoslovakian river to redirect a biochemical weapon and save the world?
It’s done, son.
Or do we want to send our own snake and let him crawl in?"
), absinthe, and anextravagantfun-furcollarfor every jacket.
And this movie truly does haveeverything:Eve,a Rammstein cameo,sunburst nipple tattoos.
DARREN:I prefer the term “Diesel Mythology,” Leah.
The actor defies easy parody in theFastandRiddickseries, where he represents Grim Paternal Rebellion and Moody Messianic Rage.
Whereas Xander Cage is more obviously jerky boy of his moment.
That Corvette heist is fodder for aJackass-y outlaw stunt show: “Welcome to the Xander Zone!”
I was never an Xtreme guy (don’t forget the XFL!
), so the Tony Hawk cameo does nothing for me.
Iwasa video-game kid, but I the movie’s nudges to gamer culture sound very Oldster Speaking Youngster.
“Stop thinking Prague police, start thinking PlayStation!”
says Xander at one point.
It’s tragic he didn’t say “Xbox” for maximum X-ification.
However!XXXkinda won me over this time.
The frantic trendiness of the first half hour works as a hypodermic needle of off-the-chain 2002 nostalgia.
As aGrand Theft Autoboy, I appreciate how everything in Xander’s path becomes a jump-ramp for his motorcycle.
The stunts are frequently great, even when you spot the CGI slipping in.
Xander rail-sliding on a dinner tray is precisely as ridiculous/wonderful as Legolas shield-surfing in 2002’sThe Two Towers.
I’m thinking PlayStation, Leah!
But only to a point.
It’s trying to be a fish-out-of-water story: Xander as the bull in Ian Fleming’s china shop.
It’s a comedown, though.
I came for the anarchy burgers!
Leah, do you like Czokas and Argento as bottle-service variations of Bond Villainy and Bond Girlhood?
And do you have a favoritein-your-face-dadaction moment?
I applauded when Xander motorbiked over an exploding (sorry,xploding) building.
LEAH:It’s funny you mentionJackass, which is such an obvious antecedent to this.
So let this be Diesel’s"Interstate Love Song"(Intercontinental?
), and we do know how heloves to sing.
Spoken like a true Braveheart.
Even the outraged Senator feels like he wandered over from the casting call of a ZZ Top video.
Xander has aunties in the industry, and he knows orthopedic support.
(His pants in this scene, incidentally, are also incredible.)
So I won’t go with that one as a favorite, though the pureDr.
Strangeloveinsanity of Xander riding the bomb like a recalcitrant pony belongs to cinematic history now.
Though of courseit’s no rope swing.
Did you stay tuned to the Xander Zone, Darren?
Of course, then the entire universe curved in his direction, after hisFastreturn created a billion-dollar franchise.
I actuallydidsee 2017’sXXX: The Return of Xander Cage, which internationalized the Xander Zone with way more tattoos.
Actually, I thinkXXXfits more snugly and surprisingly into a different trilogy.
Ben Affleck tried to do Jack Ryan inThe Sum of All Fears.
Matt Damon had better luck inThe Bourne Identity.
Neither of those guys would ever be confused for a Tijuana resident (“Do you understand English?
“), which is how we meet Xander.
(The Senator also calls him “you people,” an easy way to win Racist Bingo.)
Credit this film for inventing somethingkindanew.
phase of geopolitical history, when Jack Bauer would triumphantly torture anybody.
There will be new James Bonds, Jack Ryans, Jason Bournes, and probably anotherAustin Powers.
But only one man can be the Diesel Entity.
Read past 2002 rewatches:
