In theGossip Girlreboot, the only phrase uttered more than Miss Keller exclaiming, “This is working!”
Yes girl, give us nothing but empty, ill-considered statements because literally, your brain is still forming!
Except, uh… a lot of it isn’t so petty this episode.
Jordan Alexander, Savannah Smith, and Zion Moreno on ‘Gossip Girl’.Credit: hbo max
(“Vulnerability is the disease for the masses.”
Monet)
Zoya is dealing with the anniversary by being understandably sullen.
Anyway, will-they-or-wont-they(-and-yes-kindly-do) throuple MaxAudki aren’t doing so great either.
But no one is struggling more than Max, who is acting all the way out.
in the locker room where Rafa, a teacher, is fully nude.
To which I say: Get a job!
Stay away from him!
Not because of Gossip Girl, of course that’s as inept an operation as ever.
So, Luna and Monet set in motion the plan they’ve been working on for weeks.
The son ofGeorginaSparks (and not-Dan-Humphrey)!
“Wars never end what you need is a coup.”
She decided not to use it at the time, but now she’s had a change of heart.
Julien DMs the video to Monet and tells her to get it ready for the party.
I guess these are the instincts that made her a teenage influencer in the first place.
If you could believe this, Julien goes on to declare thatnever again will she bully.
She tells everyone to pull out their phones and record her saying, “I’m a bully.
You must not have known this show got picked up for a second season already.
And happiest of all, Miss Keller finishes her story to submit to the Paris Review.
Just kidding, who cares about that.
