(140-plus this year!)
We honored the tropes of this Emmy-allergic comfort-food genre while taking several calculated risks.
(A male protagonist?
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In a movie about Christmas movies?
That’s set in summer?)
All we needed now were a few powerful people to believe in the miracle of our Christmas.
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Will we show this trio a holiday hit in waiting or will they show us the door?
Will their notes be naughty or nice?
It’s time for action onLights!
Jaded journalist Trevor Rankin is a rising entertainment reporter atHollywiredmagazine.
“Chucky Cheer”).
Watching the reporter arrive with great interest is the film’s leading woman, Erika.
She’ll stop at nothing to make it happen, with increasingly poor results.
Don’t worry, the Chrises reunite later that day.)
As Trevor and Jessica talk, it becomes clear that Trevor is not a fan of the genre.
Jessica screams, “Look out!”
and tackles Trevor out of harm’s way, sending them both into a pile of fake snow.
They linger on the ground for a beat, looking into each other’s eyes before shaking it off.
“In preventing death by Christmas tree, I have caused death of mistletoe,” she quips.
The screen fades to black.
Jessica teasingly asks him how he got into the event, given that he was persona non grata.
Jessica smiles, reaches into her handbag, and pulls out all the mistletoe that Trevor gave her.
She holds them above their heads and the two kiss… which garners huge applause from the nearby cast.
Our Dream Cast!
Here’s who we have in mind to star in the epic holiday extravaganza that isLights!
Turns out, our perfect Christmas movie is… less than perfect.
(Go figure!)
“It’s inside baseball,” explains producer Dunbar.
“When we get inside the business too much, we alienate the audience.”
Seconds Lifetime’s Lopez: “It’s very insidery, with the movie-inside-the-movie.
I don’t know if it will work or not, to be completely candid.”
“It’s a two-kiss movie!”
“You got to have that first kiss, and then the second kiss!”
Who marries someone without kissing them?
That is the freakiest thing ever.
And every woman’s thinking that, too.
It’s like, ‘You know, I’d try it out.'"
“Debbie Downer, man!”
cries Dunbar while shaking her head.
“The brother’s dying, sisters are dying Christmas is the ultimate feel-good time of year.
when you’ve got that kind of trauma, you ain’t coming back.”
“It felt like a missed opportunity,” points out Lifetime’s Vyas.
“I don’t know what their investment is in her why they all care.
It just felt really forced.”
The experts’ notes are not always unanimous, though.
The panel is split on the radical decision to stage the majority ofLights!
Christmas!not during the holiday season but rather in less-than-wintry July.
“So there’s gold to be had.”
As she notes: “You have alotof talking.
You have to create action where you show and not tell.”
When the snowstorm of big-picture issues subsides, a flurry of notes on smaller details begins.
(And peanut butter blossoms aren’t festive enough.)
Adds Lopez: “We don’t want to point out differences.
We don’t want to lean into that at the holidays.”
A lot of them, actually.
While the issues with our script are as plentiful as December snowfall in Colorado, the lights inLights!
Christmas!are not out yet.
Lifetime’s execs praise Trevor as a quirky, compelling protagonist on a clear journey of lesson-learning.
“We really responded to the fish out of water,” says Vyas.
(Dunbar even suggests we make Trevor a sportswriter to yank this fish even further out of water.)
So we have this conversation a lot.
There’s an opportunity in Trevor."
With his casting, too.
Lifetime’s execs approve of our suggestion of Josh Groban, the savvy baritone who moonlights in acting.
(One yuletide karaoke session, coming up!)
Trevor’s romantic foil, Jessica, also holds promise to them.
“It’s very empowering to see a female director,” says Dunbar.
However, all agree that she needs to embark on a more meaningful journey.
“While Jessica’s had tragedy, it’s a backstory moment,” says Lopez.
Our experts come out in support of the supporting cast, especially diva actress Erika.
“Erika popped out in her Gloria Swanson moment,” raves Lopez.
(She suggests Susan Lucci or Annie Potts for the role, while Dunbar envisions Elaine Hendrix.)
Trudy also rates highly, and not just because of her giant glasses.
The backdrop of nonstop-Christmas-observing Kringleville seems to draw in our pitch audience, too.
(Alas, they do not find the title of our movie-within-the-movie as tasty.
“Chris Missed Christmasis a little tongue twister,” laments Dunbar.)
Finally, the climactic moment between Trevor and Jessica at the end of the film also has potential.
Lopez sides with Dan, while Vyas and Dunbar support Dalton.
The moment of truth: Will these industry experts consider making our movie?
“This would fall in the middle for me,” says Vyas.
“There’s more to be discussed.
There’s work to be done.”
Well, that sounds extremely positive especially when we ignore the 518 uses of the word if.
Wait,really?!
“I’m always looking for the diamond in the rough.
And I think you do have a diamond in the rough.
There’s something fresh here, but there’s some recalibration that needs to happen.
I would love to work with you on it.”
Behold, a Christmas miracle!
This absurd holiday fever dream might actually be coming to a TV near you in 2022.
Someone get Groban an ugly sweater!
Illustration by Jeff Hinchee.
A version of this story appears inEntertainment Weekly’s December issue,on newsstands now andavailable to order here.
