It isn’t too difficult to understand why.
Such heavy subject matter can be challenging for any parent.
“The complicated feelings of a parent knowing her daughter suffered like that.”
Selena Gomez and director Alek Keshishian.Courtesy of Apple TV+
What was it about the genre that made you want to wash your hands of it?
ALEK KESHISHIAN:There are two aspects of that.
One is, in general, I don’t like to repeat myself.
Selena Gomez in ‘My Mind & Me’.Courtesy of Apple TV+
I wanted to make a narrative film, a fiction film, so I didWith Honorsinstead.
I signed on with great trepidation.
But it was very intriguing because obviously, I could feel her authenticity and her vulnerability.
Selena Gomez in ‘My Mind & Me’.Courtesy of Apple TV+
I said, “I tend to really think of what I do as art.
She said, “No, no, I lovedTruth or Dare.
I watched it seven times.
Selena Gomez in ‘My Mind & Me’.Courtesy of Apple TV+
I think it’s a piece of art and I’d like to do something like that.”
It means I’m not trying to organize a shoot and ask you questions and just showing up for.
It’s a much more patient kind of filmmaking.
And so we shot for two weeks and you see some of that footage in the finished doc.
After those two weeks, we both mutually decided the timing wasn’t right.
It just didn’t feel like it had a context to make that correct.
How did you build that relationship and establish trust?
Well, there are no shortcuts.
You either feel an immediate soul connection, or it takes time and it takes experiences.
Trust is earned over time.
Reliability over time equals trust and so there are no shortcuts to that.
I just want to do good work.
So, I think it’s just a personality that I have that makes people trust me.
What do you remember from this trip?
I think you really see Selena’s authentic, down to earth-ness in that sequence.
With Selena, she’s not in a higher place to begin with.
It’s not like she dresses down to go there.
That’s really who she is and you’re free to feel that.
She’s not there in designer clothes or glammed up or anything.
And by the way, that’s kind of how she lives her life.
So it was very amazing to go through that footage over and over.
There was no big production by that point.
There was no permission that we had gotten.
It was not produced.
You see that level of intimacy.
It’s not a big production that’s gone in there that’s pre-planned.
Were there any moments left on the cutting room floor?
I felt like there had to be a certain respect to the amount that I could make or endure.
There was a two-and-a-half-hour cut, but it just felt too long to me and she agreed.
Our goal in this movie was always, “What can we do to help other people?”
We weren’t making a docuseries.
There were a lot more encounters in Texas.
But part of filmmaking is about making those hard choices and that’s what took two years of editing.
People ask me sometimes, “Why wasn’tOnly Murdersin this film?”
Because they hadn’t shot a day ofOnly Murderswhen we started filming.
It took two years to get you this film in this state.
She wanted to stop in Texas because COVID had happened and she wanted to reconnect before she went.
The project tracks six years of Selena’s life.
What conversations have you had with her now that this deeply personal film is out in the world?
And the greatest gift has been the bang out of people reaching out back to us.
It’s beautiful to see it connecting to people.
With mental health, there are many nuances when you’re a person of color.
Depression and anxiety are still pretty taboo among many immigrant communities.
Did you and Selena have any conversations about this before diving into the project?
There’s so many other stories to tell about mental health, like you’re pointing out.
You just carry on.
That’s our hope.
We want to make this movie for everyone.
Yeah, it felt particularly striking that her mom, Mandy, participated in the project.
Were there any reservations on her part?
There were huge reservations.
I got her at the very end because it’s very difficult for her and her family, obviously.
I was just myself and I spoke to her for a while before she agreed to do it.
She was nervous on the day, and we just did our best.
Do you know if they’ve watched the final product?What do they think?
Well, Selena definitely has.
The last I heard, Mandy hasn’t yet felt ready to watch it.
But they’re in a beautiful place in their relationship.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
Selena Gomez: My Mind & Meis now streaming on Apple TV+.
