Give Carolyn a key and weird things are going to happen.
There’s something you should know about Carolyn.
I almost don’t want to tell you myself.
The Tika tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
I can’t do the story justice.
You really need to hear it straight from her, sotake a gander herefor the straight-from-the-source scoop.
So, that tidbit Carolyn shared at that link is pretty remarkable.
The Soka tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
I don’t think I have a single story from my entire life that can match it.
And not even a particularly remarkable day of the week either.
It was just… like, a Tuesday when it comes to Carolyn stories.
The ‘Survivor 44’ cast.Robert Voets/CBS
The hits just keep on coming!
I bring this all up because a reality TV travesty almost took place on our television screens this week.
But somewhere deep in the recesses of the Fijian jungle, theSurvivorgods were all, “Yeah, no.
‘Survivor 44’ host Jeff Probst.Robert Voets/CBS
That isn’t happening.
To which we say… What would we have done without the walking supercut montage that is Carolyn?
I know, I know, they say a little Carolyn goes a long way, but guess what?
Helen Li of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
A lot of Carolyn goes even farther!
How amazing is Carolyn?
(Would Carolyn have combed through his poop as well?)
F— it.
Put all three birdcages over on Tika.
And move all the camera crews while you’re at it.
Thankfully, Carolyn lives to play another day.
And she still has her idol.
Sounds like it’s time to celebrate with a big bowl of chocolate ice cream!
But that’s not what Matthew told us this week.
That’s an interesting angle and in some ways, pretty smart.
But is it worth burning your one and only Shot in the Dark on day 3 to do so?
On the surface, it may not seem so.
I would be breaking that power couple up and breaking them uptout suite.
Way too dangerous, no matter how likable they are.
The problem is, I don’t see any Lexes on this season.
Both grabbed the idol, but played other aspects differently.
The big question is: What did they do with the keys?
But even that is risky.
But I, unlike Carolyn, would have filled up the bag and closed it.
Anyway, interesting that we got three different strategies on the three birdcages.
The New Sandra?
Well, that was interesting.
Maybe even more interesting than the immunity challenge itself.
Claire, who also sat out last week, announced it would be her.
Just “hunh.”
Maybe she has two left feet, I don’t know.
But Claire at leastlookslike she’s pretty athletic.
Plus, her tribedidn’tlose.
They got immunity both times, proving her decision to sit out may have been the correct one.
But, hey,THAT’S SHOWBIZ, BABY!
Soka was on track to get first place again this week until Matthew basically was all I-see-you-Carson-and-your-3D-puzzle-printing-and-raise-you-with-a-giant-homemade-snake-replica-maze-built-out-of-plywood-in-my-backyard-because-I-am-a-complete-badass-and-just-to-prove-how-badass-I-am-going-to-whip-this-sling-off-and-dominate-you-fools-with-an-injured-shoulder.
Jeez, talk about geriatric geezers!
Get these two old-timers their AARP cards and shingles shots already.
That didn’t seem likely when Carson showed up and Carolyn proceeded to… lie down on the ground?
And then… immediately stand back up?
I actually have no idea what was happening here.
She’s up, she’s down.
But, no, it seems she has actually forged an alliance with Carson.
(Ordidn’twork, as it turns out.)
All Idoknow is that Helen is gone.
The woman was a puzzle whiz.
She killed it on both the Savvy test and the first immunity challenge.
That’s someone I would have tried to keep around.
And you could tell how bummed she was to be cut loose.
We’ve got a fun exclusive scene from the episode coming your way in which Soka loses their machete.
We’ve also got Hostmaster General Jeff Probst delivering some serious scoop aboutsecret advantages that were never found.
