Yam Yam has to follow either his head or his heart in a crucial vote.
Plus: updated season rankings!
Welcome to the Survivor Recap Sanctuary where good things happen.
Carolyn Wiger, Yam Yam Arocho, and Carson Garrett on ‘Survivor 44’.CBS
Honestly, I don’t really get the “where good things happen” tagline.
It sounds vaguely like something you would read in a pamphlet for a super-sketchy time-share condo.
“The Survivor Sanctuary… where good things happen.”
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 44’.CBS
And I love it.
Because that would be creepy.
And I’m not sure I can even deliver on that promise, if we’re being completely honest.
The cast of ‘Survivor 44’.CBS
Okay, we have the penultimate episode ofSurvivor 44to get through.
And we need to get through it, because after that it is time to update ourSurvivorseason rankings.
Where will season 44 rank compared to all the others?
Jaime Lynn Ruiz on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Inquiring minds want to know!
Yam Yam noted that the more Carolyn talked about her master Birdcage plan, the bigger her target became.
Jaime opined how emotional Carolyn was, but how her emotions were all calculated.
Carson Garrett on ‘Survivor 44’.CBS
Lauren told us that, “She’s so confusing but she’s so loveable.
It’s weird, man.
It’s scaring me a little bit.
Cast members of ‘Survivor: Micronesia — Fans vs. Favorites’.CBS
It really is.”
The only question was if it would be enough to get the fan favorite voted out.
“The question for me tonight is, do I have the courage to take Carolyn out?
The cast of ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.CBS
Am I going to be strong enough to do this?
I don’t know.”
SPOILER ALERT: He wasn’t strong enough.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Winners at War’.Robert Voets/CBS
Did Yam Yam decide to ultimately keep Carolyn, or did Carson convince him to keep her?
I kind of suspect the latter, but who knows.
“But it doesn’t mean that somebody can’t be strategic who is emotional.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen. X’.Monty Brinton/CBS/Getty Images
I have promised myself and I promised my son I am not going to apologize for crying.”
Huge move by Carolyn there.
A rewarding experience
Another reward challenge!
The cast of ‘Survivor: Cook Islands’.ABC
And then dividing people up into teams and having the winners go one place WHERE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN!
Not this week, maybe, but it happens.
It’s a good one, but you already know my complaint, don’t you?
Carolyn Wiger on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
No one getting blasted in the groin.
Sure, I saw a few out there, but guess what?
And I don’t care if I come off like a 12-year-old: People running into things is funny!
The cast of ‘Survivor 41’.Robert Voets/CBS
And if that impact comes anywhere roughly around waist level, even better.
Look what do you want from me?
Have I watchedthis video of 600 groin hits in 600 secondsmultiple times?
The cast of ‘Survivor: Game Changers’.Timothy Kuratek/CBS/Getty Images
Yes, I have.
Does that make me a bad person?
Sure, I guess.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Worlds Apart’.CBS/Getty Images
But at least I’m honest about my juvenile appetites.
I will say, Carolyn getting lost and blindly chasing the giant ball was a still pretty good.
But a well-positioned tree in her path would have made it great.
Sandra Diaz-Twine and Boston Rob Mariano on ‘Survivor: Island of the Idols’.Robert Voets/CBS
Not my favorite, this one.
Just not super dramatic, especially when it only lasts a few minutes in real time.
But it didn’t happen, and instead Jaime paid the price.
Was some of the fun at her expense?
But the bottom line is that Jaime’s (perhaps misplaced) enthusiasm made her easy to root for.
Well, score one for the players here.
And the winner is… Heidi and Lauren have been great.
Can’t see either of them getting the votes to win.
It’s Tika all day in every way.
But which Tika member?
That’s what makes this endgame so intriguing.
Seriously, how could you not be happy with any of those three winning the million dollars?
And if they are the final three sitting there at the end then good thingswillhappen!
Okay, it’s time, people.
Time to get to our updatedSurvivorseason rankings.
And with that, we’re off.
Survivor Season-by-Season Rankings from best to worst
1.
AfterMicronesiaaired, I named it the bestSurvivorseason ever.
So then I returned that to the number one spot.
If I wanted to watch one season again, it would beMicronesia.
If you ask me which is the mostimportantseason, well, obviously it’sBorneo.
3.Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsThe Russell vs. Boston Rob feud made for the best pre-merge run of episodes ever.
And the greatness just kept on coming.
Filled with huge memorable moments like Tyson voting himself off, J.T.
giving Russell his immunity idol, and Parvati handing outtwoimmunity idols at one Tribal Council.
I know many people would consider this No.
1, but it’s all returnees.
For me, the fresh blood ofMicronesiakeeps that season higher.
(Maybe not well at all times, but at least they were playing.)
moment to a truly exhilarating season.
That’s what it all comes down to.
And it’s not just Christian, who was one of the most universally loved contestants of all-time.
That is an amazing 9 out of 20 that I would easily welcome back on another season.
Often, that’s all a season needs.
And that really is first and foremost the reason Davidvs.
Goliathbecame an all-time great.
But there were other trophies to hand out as well.
The editing job done by producers was perhaps the show’s best ever.
They experimented with new techniques that served to freshen up the franchise in its 37th season.
They added comedic flourishes that were totally unnecessary yet improved the episodes nonetheless.
They cut back and forth between players and stories in ways they never had before.
A top 5 finish.
6.Survivor: Cambodia Second ChanceThe first thing to note aboutCambodiais how well all the production twists turned out.
Letting fans vote in the cast?
Hiding idols at challenges?
I think you all know how I feel about that.
Tempting people to quit an immunity challenge for a mystery vote steal advantage?
All the tribe switcheroos?
They played out to perfection.
TheSurvivorproducers always throw a bunch of twists out there.
Usually, some work and some don’t.
This season, they all paid dividends.
I also appreciated how hard the bulk of the cast was playing.
Usually, you get a small handful of big-time gamers.
Another plus: The votes were completely unpredictable from week to week, leading to some truly crazy Tribals.
Sure, the challenges were a bit blah, but still, a rousing and triumphant success.
(MaybePirate Masteris to blame for that?)
Obviously, there was a stellar cast with big personalities.
Fairplay not only pulling off the dead grandma lie but also getting drunk at Tribal Council.
Osten becoming the first person to lay down his torch.
Savage willing his tribe to win.
And Sandra getting in faces.
It was all delicious.
Some people, like Ben and Michele, had something to prove.
His return alone was one of the best reality TV stories ever.
Go back and watch it.
It’s amazing on both a technical and an emotional level.
And Tony Vlachos cemented his reputation as the most entertaining and dominant player of all time.
I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have a great winner on such an important season.
And itdidfeel special, even with its flaws.
I wish the show would shake things up like that more at the outset to keep contestants off-balance.
One of the best creative decisionsSurvivorever made was not panicking and reshuffling the tribes once Koror started dominating.
Also, I’d bring back Jolanda, Coby, Katie, and Ian back in a heartbeat.
Every single person added something.
That’s how you win a million dollars.
Possibly the least scenic camps inSurvivorhistory.
It just looked absolutely miserable.
And I still jump when Chicken gets voted out.
WhenMillennials vs. Gen Xstarted, most of us were like, “Yeah, it’s fine.
Not amazing, but not terrible either.”
But then things kept happening.
And everyone kept flipping on one another.
And everyone kept getting blindsided.
And everyone kept futilely using their idols for other people.
It was madness and chaos in the best way possible.
And what was so fascinating was that (with the exception of Michaela) nobody took their ouster personally.
This was a season remarkably free of any sort of fighting whatsoever.
None of the ugliness ofWorlds ApartorKaoh Rongpermeated the proceedings, even amongst all the lying and backstabbing.
Even Hannah was entertaining with her neurosis.
Even Ken was entertaining with his late-game cluelessness.
Bret gave us a touching moment where he came out as gay to Zeke.
Sunday outsmarted Adam and Hannah with a ruse at Tribal Council.
(However, I still can’t figure out why they went with three-person duels a.k.a.
truels and they definitely should have stopped RI at the merge.)
So why is it so high?
Because the casting and storylines that developed gave us people to root for and against something every greatSurvivorseason needs.
And that’s not all.
Seriously, that guy was straight gold in every episode.
BRING HIM BACK!!!!
There were some other problems early on as well, but what a difference a mutiny makes.
Then we had clearly defined people to root for and against.
There are other things to love as well.
Plus, just look at all the great first-time contestants (Parvati, Penner, Ozzy, Yul).
I love you, Billy.
But hear me out first before you Russell any feathers.
It was flat-out grating.
But everything post-merge was spectacular.
There were moves and countermoves galore down the homestretch.
Also, don’t overlook how great the bevy of water challenges was.
Should I push it down in the rankings due to the lackluster Reunion show that followed?
He was denied in the end, though, in the most controversial jury decision ever.
19.Survivor: TocantinsOkay, you may roll your eyes at Coach 1.0.
But imagine for a second this season without him.
His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into middle of the pack territory for me.
However, the unlikely alliance between bookish northerner Fishbach and country boy J.T.
certainly made for a compelling thread throughout the season.
20.Survivor 44And here we are.
An all-time great character.
One of the most delightfully funny narrators in the show’s history.Frannie and Matt?
Arguably the most adorkable showmance couple ever.
The episodes also breathed well and did not get bogged down in too many advantages and idol hunts.
There was also more diversity in post-merge challenges, which was a plus.
So, with all that said, then why doesSurvivor 44barely crack the top 20?
That’s just bad luck.
I know I was.
I have no big complaints about this season at all.
It was a totally solid entry for the best reality TV franchise on the planet… just not transcendent.
The argument for ranking it lower would be the pure repetition factor.
Anytime you have a perpetual “been there, done that” feeling…that’s bad.
Especially when most of those twists and challenges were not great to begin with.
However, the producers did a much better job of editing and presenting that content.
Shane Powers should have been brought back forHeroes vs. Villains.
And theSecond Chanceseason, for that matter.
Seriously, what the hell?!?
Get that guy back on TV.
But I still can’t figure out how/why Bob Dawg didn’t get a bigger and better edit.
That guy is an absolute gas, whether in or outside of Casa de Charmin.
23.Survivor 41This may be the hardestSurvivorseason ever to rank.
Let’s get to the bad before the good.
That’s not good.
Which was a shame because when allowed to, this cast delivered in a huge way.
Early boots like Brad and J.D.
That’s a hell of a lineup right there.
Not that I thought all the changes were bad.
24.Survivor: Ghost IslandThis was another hard season to rank.
This idea was used a few years later onSurvivor South Africa: Immunity Island.)
And then there is the ending, which also has plusses and minuses.
So again, both good and bad.
Like I said, a hard season to rank.
But the ending was fantastic, and I was engaged throughout, even with the noted weaknesses.
I liked watching Kellyn act like a super-spaz.
I was fascinated with the Laurel and Donathan strategic push-and-pull.
Throw that all together and you end up in the middle of the pack.
25.Survivor 43Seasons 41 and 42 featured really dynamic casts and some really wonky production wrinkles.Survivor 43flipped the script completely.
For the most part, the game flow either by design or sheer luck worked out really well.
But the cast, while extremely likable, were not super propulsive.
Where were the fireworks?
Instead, we got a lot more gauzy, reach-for-the-Kleenex backstory photo montages, but little sizzle.
26.Survivor: Game ChangersWhat a weird season this was.
We were treated to two titans of the game (Tony and Sandra) going toe to toe.
But something was missing.
Said events were all exciting, but they failed to form a cohesive unit.
all gone before the merge.
And despite the gameplay and unpredictability down the stretch, that is kind of what happened.
And then there is what happened to Cirie in the finale.
(The fact that it happened to a true legend in Cirie made it even harder to swallow.)
But there is one thing I reallydiddig about this season, and that is the cast.
28.Survivor: The Australian OutbackAn overrated season in my book.
Pretty predictable boot order as well.
Dude didburn his hands off, though.
And, outside of one mind-bogglingly boring loved ones reward contest, the challenges were strong.
But now comes the bad news.
Like the majority ofSurvivornation, I was not a fan of the new final four fire-making twist.
That was a bummer.
30.Survivor: Kaoh RongNot one of the best seasons ever; not one of the worst.
That’s always exciting.
Working against this season is the fact that there simply were not enough transcendent players in the cast.
That’s a problem.
That said, man, were there some hate-fueled fireworks at those final few Tribal Councils.
The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.
34.Survivor: Redemption IslandThe first three episodes were dynamite, but then the fuse blew out.
35.Survivor: AfricaSome great challenges.
Not that much else was great.
36.Survivor: Edge of ExtinctionFlat.
That’s the best word I can think of to describe the season.
At least give them a place where they can go in the water!
Rafe was good for a few laughs, though.
Especially on rope obstacles.
38.Survivor: VanuatuI don’t blame producers: The battle of the sexes seemed like a fine enough concept.
This season just never took off.
That counts for something.
40.Survivor: One WorldLook, I have total respect for Kim’s game.
Like Tom inPalauand Rob inRedemption Island, she excelled strategically, socially, and physically.
Unfortunately, that is really the only good thing I can say about this season.
And that’s too bad because I do think the “One World” concept was a solid one.
But, man, what a thoroughly uninspiring cast.
Speaking of awful creative decisions…
43.Survivor: NicaraguaIt’s way down here for a few reasons.
- Splitting the tribes up by age and theMedallion of Powerwere both enormous flops.
)Nicaraguahad just too many unlikable players.
Two people quitting with only 11 days left.
No big memorable moments.
Unfortunately, it was people quitting, and that was memorable for all the wrong reasons.
44.Survivor: Island of the IdolsI’m a guy who tends to be pretty analytical.
But even I recognize that when it comes to rankingSurvivorseasons, it ultimately comes down to a feeling.
But nothing seemed fun in light of the far more serious issue that clearly outweighed the final game result.
Quite simply: It made the rest of the season impossible to enjoy.
And so here it sits.
Okay, there are the updated rankings.
This is just one person’s take, sure to be different from everyone else’s.
There’s no right or wrong it’s just about your individual tastes and relationship to the show.
