When the women weren’t yelling over each other, they were yelling at Shanae.
That’s weird, why is Clayton opening the show?
Oh, my bad.
Interchangeable white men.ABC
I didn’t read the chyron.
All of your “favorite” women are here.
(Sierra wins the audience applause-o-meter, as she should.)
The lambs… they were screaming…ABC
“I love how it’s possible for you to call us all bitches behind a screen!”
“Call me a bitch to my f—ing face!”
Yikes Palmer, it’s time to grab the reins, kindly.
Earplugs, anyone?.ABC
Before we can get to Shanae, we must go back to the beginning.
Part 1: Blondes Who Aren’t Shanae
Remember Claire?
The spray tanner who had one conversation with Clayton and decided that she “hated” him?
Imagine making this sign.ABC
Well, she’s up first.
(Reminder: Contestants are allowed two drinks an hour.)
But Cassidy bristles at the idea that she was disrespectful to the other women.
Two-on-one, take two.ABC
“And you were willing to throw me under the bus?”
Oh, now she’s done it.
I’m not going to go out and pounce on somebody instantly.
Shocked. Shocked!.ABC
A connection has to grow over time."
(*Sierra absolutely deserves a spot inParadise, and she should not have to audition.)
“I wasn’t going to cut it off unless I was engaged!”
Sarah, and Sarah.ABC
Fair enough, honey.
hollers Palmer over the noise.
He calls Shanae up to the Hot Seat, as the other women grumble.
Tearful Teddi.ABC
“Her ass looks terrible,” snipes Genevieve.
“Are you wearing a diaper?”
“Fake cry!”
Jill, Sierra, and Elizabeth.ABC
yells Genevieve, after Palmer asks Shanae how she’s doing.
“Crocodile tears!”
And because this isThe Bachelor, producers are happy to fuel the woman-on-woman-crime fire.
Kira has no hard feelings.ABC
Nice job,Bachelor interns!
Speaking of lies, Palmer wants to know why Shanae “apologized” to the women in Houston.
“I did it for Clayton,” she says.
“I didn’t want to apologize.”
Shanae doesn’t give an inch: “So did you all.”
Gee, how could this get any more acrimonious?
Oh, I know!
“After I got eliminated, I went home.
I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat,” she says.
This accusation gets the intended response.
“I met him at a bar!”
“I didn’t even kiss him!”
Genevieve has no reason to be on the defensive, but it’s understandable that she feels attacked.
She, in turn, blasts Shanae for contacting Aaron on social media.
“He thinks you’re crazy,” she notes.
“So, stop.”
Part 3: Sarah, Vain and Small
Picture-in-picture sad face!
Naturally, Sarah is on the verge of tears after watching her highlight reel back.
“It was never, ever, my intention to make anyone feel insecure,” she says.
“My intent would never, ever be to purposely hurt anyone.”
Part 4: Ready, Steady, Teddi
Awww, poor Teddi.
Her “journey” from first to worst is clearly still weighing on her.
“It’s hard to see.
“And just, like, hearing myself talk about not feeling worthy it isn’t fun.”
So then to, like, come up short again it was hard.”
To be that self-aware at 24 what a gift.
I think it’s okay if someone wants to have sex every weekend."
Gah, that sounds exhausting.)
“I didn’t reply.
I will say, I think [one] Echard boy in my lifetime was enough for me.”
Yep, Teddi is downright adorable but she’s way too young to be the Bachelorette.
Don’t even think about it, producers.
Still, she’s “really excited for the future.”
And that’s about it.
On to the next!
“The hardest part’s been watching it,” says Clayton.
“It’s one thing to go through it and feel that you gave it your best.
You sure did, buddy.
“It’s a fair question,” he says.
“I was wanting tangible evidence.”
[Loud buzzer noise] hit it one more time, pal.
“What could be more tangible than the entire house?”
“We had a connection,” he says.
“I was basing the decisions off of the connection I felt.”
What’s that, ladies?
You have something you’d like to add?
“You sent us home!”
Sierra also has something to say: “I tried to help you!
I literally tried to.
And it’s like, I think you’re confusing love and lust.”
She’s not wrong, rose lovers.
Palmer wants to know what Clayton has to say to Shanae now, having seen all her to-the-camera tomfoolery.
Sarah’s all,Nuh-uh, you were the one stirring the pot!
“Not based on external things and hearsay.”
This leads us back to the Did Clayton Cry?
Can we consider this topic settled now?
In non-crying news, the Bachelor apologizes to Serene for how he handled their goodbye.
“I hope you don’t close off going forward,” he says.
“You did everything right.
Sierra papering her face with oil-absorbing sheets was also sheer perfection.
One night down, one more to go, rose lovers!
Before you go, a few questions: Who is your pick for Bachelorette?
And how do these women not know the difference between a possum and an armadillo?
Post your thoughts below!
