Why does it seem like this season is flying by?
I guess with two Bachelorettes, everything goes by twice as fast.
Rachel’s first one-on-one date goes to Zach, and boy, is Tino disappointed.
Tino is bummed.ABC
says Tino, who’s extra annoyed because Zach’s already had a one-on-one.
More on this later, rose lovers.
Gabby’s one-on-one goes to this man:
Dang it, look how happy he is!
Nate’s happiness is short-lived.ABC
“I really feel good about the connection that me and Gabby have,” gushes Nate.
Poor guy, he has no idea what he’s walking into.
“You seem a bit emotional,” she says gently.
Gabby breaks the bad news to Nate.ABC
“Are you doing okay?”
“If I wanted into a commitment like that, I would want to be 100 percent ready.”
“Nate is an amazing person and an amazing father I know he is,” she says.
Bye bye, Nate’s bag.ABC
“But I have more healing and growing to do before I become a mom.”
“I wanted today for us to be so special,” she says shakily between sobs.
“I have such deep feelings for you… And it’s not you, and it’s me… Ooof, my heart hurts for Gabby.
Rachel and Zach and a bajillion tulips.ABC
She clearly has such strong feelings for Nate, but childhood trauma can be a real beast.
Nate does his best to console Gabby while processing his own sadness and disappointment.
“I’m gonna miss you a lot…
Don’t they look happy to be here?.ABC
I don’t know if I’ve ever met anybody as sweet as you.”
Okay, Suitcase Ninja… do your thing.
Man, this episode has been a real downer so far.
This is totally normal.ABC
Come on, producers can’t you do something to lighten the mood?
Ah, to be young and in love like in a field of tulips.
), taking Polaroid selfies, and smooching, smooching, smooching.
Affirmations are music to this girl’s ears.ABC
Just kidding, just kidding.
According toUnicef, the Netherlands is a great place to raise kids.
Oh, thank God we’ve finally reached the “incongruous hot tub” portion of the date.
Jason comforts Gabby.ABC
I was worried that the producers forgot.
Zach says that a few years ago, he was overweight and very unhappy.
Thanks to therapy, though, Zach was able to push through this difficult time.
Not buying it, Johnny.ABC
And Rachel LOVES it.
“After coming off of Clayton’s season, going to therapy was my favorite part of the week…
I truly love it so much.”
Gabby searches for a husband.ABC
Everyone should try it!
Anyhoo, Rachel and Zach continue to seem very into each other.
In fact, he just told her that he’s “falling in love” with her!
Ah, the old “burn a guy with candle wax to determine if he’d be a good husband” test.ABC
“After tonight, engagement feels and seems like a very real possibility,” he tells us.
“We’ve been thinking about you all day,” says Johnny.
“Can we hug you?”
Gabby’s all dressed up with nowhere to go.ABC
Bring it in, guys!
After a good night’s sleep, Gabby and her dudes reunite for this week’s group date.
And it’s gonna be a weird one, rose lovers.
Rachel searches for a husband.ABC
only Johnny raises his hand and he sure as hell doesn’t look too confident about it.
The first assignment is pretty easy: Pick a safe word.
(I will nevernotthink ofthisSNLsketchwhen I hear the phrase “safe word.")
Tyler and Rachel.ABC
(Unclear why they skipped Erich.)
Oh, this looks fun.
Johnny even stripped down for the occasion!
Ethan and Rachel.ABC
“He’s leaning in,” raves Gabby.
“I appreciate that he’s kind of like leading the way for all the guys.”
Eventually, Mistress Susie makes all the men take their shirts off and has them lie on the ground.
Tayler FTW.ABC
Doesn’t this look fun?
Producers are really breaking the bank for these group dates.
An empty warehouse, some dollar store rugs, a can of whipped creamanda candle?
That podium is kind of garish.ABC
Truly over the top.
(Hopefully Mistress Susie got paid her full day rate.)
All that matters, though, is that Gabby had fun.
Patrick Warburton, what the hell are you doing here?.ABC
“I’m excited about handing out a group date rose tonight!”
Cut to:
Knock knock knock!
There’s a Bearer of Bad News at the door!
Man, what an anticlimactic ending to Logan’s team-hopping, intentional-villain-edit run.
See you atMen Tell All, buddy!
Aven, Ethan, Tino, and Tyler meet up with Rachel for some cheese tasting and folk dancing.
(Guess everyone on this team tested negative!)
Tino’s all,Me next!
“The other guys look like the work out a ton,” says Tino.
“But I’m going to let my arms fall off before I lose.”
Congrats, Tino you’re the Cheese King of Edam!
He also assures her that he takes the idea of a hometown date very seriously.
How many women has this guy brought home?
Doesn’t Tyler realize this makes it sound like his parents are sick of meeting his girlfriends?
Not a great way to convince Rachel to give him the rose if you ask me.
Ethan, meanwhile, wants Rachel to know that she means the world to him.
“I love my family more than anything,” he adds.
“I want to introduce you to them.
Finally, Tino wants Rachel to know that he’s very ready for her to meet his family.
“I haven’t had a doubt in weeks,” he says, before they start smooching.
“This is a rose that I want more than usual.
I’m really expecting it because I, like, literally think I’m her person.”
Tino is very disappointed which is fine.
What I don’t love about his reaction, though, is how petulant and snappish he becomes.
Let’s roll.”
Okay, Captain Testosterone take it down a few notches.
as they hang out by the bar.
Aven jokes that Tino should be in a good mood because he won the cheese challenge.
“Me and you didn’t win s—,” he says to Ethan with a laugh.
“And I’ve still got a better attitude about it,” Ethan replies.
If only Rachel could have seen Tino’s hissy fit before making cuts.
Perhaps things would have been different.
The morning before the rose ceremony, Ethan sits on the sundeck with Tino.
“I’m not trying to, like, invalidate your feelings,” Ethan begins.
He doesn’t quite apologize, but at least he claims to feel bad about walking off.
Cool, cool, cool.
Let’s just get this over with.
Little do they know…
Rose ceremony roll call!
And we won’t be taking turns this time, folks.
Team Gabbygoes first: Erich, Jason, and Johnny will be heading to hometowns.
So sorry, Spencer.
You’ll always have a piece of our heart for offering Rachel and Gabby a chair on night one.
And now forTeam Rachel: Aven and Tino join Tyler and Zach in the Winners' CircleTM.
But he handles it like a champ.
“Thank you for this opportunity,” he says after hugging Rachel goodbye.
“You light up every room you’re in.”
Awwww, what a nice guy.
If he’s still single next season, I hope producers cast him again.
(He’s too sweet forParadise.)
Holy cow, rose lovers hometowns is NEXT WEEK.
And in even more shocking news, apparently Zach is related to Puddy fromSeinfeld?
My mind is blown.
Anyhow, do you think Rachel and Gabby made good choices this week?
Are you sad to see Nate go?
Who do you think will make it to the final two for each?
And when was the last time you rode a bike?
Post your thoughts below!
