How did we get here?
Let’s recap part one ofThe Bachelorettefinale!
But hey, Gabby and Rachel are here, and they’re looking lovely.
Rachel and Gabby on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Well, that was fun.
On to the actual show.
Now it’s finally time for that conversation.
Zach questions Rachel.ABC
Hmmm… this assessment seems a little off to me.
Why would Rachel turn on a TV persona when the cameras are gone?
Anyhow, it’s six of one, half-dozen of the other.
Adios, Zach.ABC
(To be clear, those feelings are: You ain’t it, sir.)
“I did really love you,” says Zach, his voice breaking.
“I saw a future with you, but…
Real men wear pink.ABC
I need to go.”
See you inParadise, maybe?
The dude’s a little vanilla for me.
Raise your hand if you’re Sure.ABC
Rachel returns to the now far-less-suspenseful rose ceremony and informs Aven and Tino that Zach is gone.
With that, she hands out her final two roses.
Oh great, we’re back in the studio so Rachel can sit down with Zach.
Aven says the unthinkable.ABC
Gosh, I’m so excited I could almost turn off the TV right this very second.
But I would never leave you hanging, rose lovers.
emotions that we saw in the Reject SUV.
Rachel gets to the point.ABC
“That’s the last thing I wanted.”
“Those feelings that I had, they were real.”
Dang, how much filler is this episode going to have?
Gabby and her family.ABC
Will anything save me from this misery?
OMG you guys: THE RETURN OF BIG TONY!
Thank you, Reality TV Jesus!
Grandpa John is the best.ABC
Look at how dapper he is in pink!
It’s time for the family visits, in case you haven’t guessed.
Aven’s up first, and Rachel feels “very confident” heading into this family gathering.
Time for a little liquid courage.ABC
“Aven told me he’s 100 percent ready for an engagement,” she explains.
Did he, now?
This should be interesting.
Tino has a very punchable face.ABC
Man, these tropical options don’t do anyone any favors, do they?
Still, Aven makes a good first impression, bringing Mary Anne flowers and Big Tony a cigar.
Pops pulls Aven for a chat first.
Rachel is unhappy.ABC
GOD, I LOVE BIG TONY.
He’s been through this reality TV rodeo before and has zero f—s left to give.
“This isn’t a joke to me,” he adds.
Now Aven is unhappy.ABC
“This is my life just as much as it’s hers.”
Meanwhile, Rachel raves about how great Aven is to her mother.
Once again, the Bachelorette declares that Aven is, in fact, ready to get engaged.
Rachel and Aven.ABC
“We talked about it at length,” she says.
“I’m so happy.”
“I want to be with Rachel at the end of this.
Erich and Gabby, before the trouble begins.ABC
I want to have a life with her.
And I want the engagement aspect of it to be perfect…
I want it to be a one-time shot for us.
I can 1,000 percent see myself getting there.”
Nate’s all,Can you get there in five days?And Aven is understandably non-committal.
“I don’t know,” he says.
“But I am falling in love with her, and my feelings are very strong.”
How is that different from “I’m ready to propose to you next week”?
No wonder Rachel thinks Aven’s prepared to put a ring on it.
By now, Nate is in full Gay Bestie Red Alert mode.
“I just know [an engagement] is her intention,” he tells Aven.
“So just keep that in mind.”
Cut to:
Poor Nate is definitely not looking forward to being the bearer of bad news about Aven.
“He couldn’t give me an answer.”
Oh boy, you know Rachel does NOT love this.
And honestly, I can’t blame her for being confused.
Aven himself said he told Rachel that he was ready to be engaged.
“This is, like, shocking,” she says, grabbing her wine.
“I’m not coming out of this not engaged.”
(Did anyone else immediately think ofthis brilliant Laura Dern momentwhen Rachel said that?)
Aven seems prepared for the question.
“It’s not aboutnotbeing ready,” he says.
“I see a life with you after this…
I just want to ensure that it’s 100 percent right for both of us.”
That doesn’t do much to clear up Rachel’s confusion.
Okay, sir those two sentiments can’t really co-exist in the same statement.
“I want nothing more than to be with you after this,” says Aven.
“I know there’s still somebody [else] involved in this, that’s another thing.
“Ohhhh, okay.
Now we’re getting somewhere.
If you’re worried about being rejected, SAY THAT.
It’s a universal feeling that even Rachel, laser-focused on engagement as she is, can relate to.
Instead, the two just keep talking in circles.
“You told me you were ready for an engagement,” Rachel says for the 400th time.
“I am ready!”
responds Aven, raising his voice.
“I want to double-check that the timing is right, Rachel!”
These two need a time out.
Eventually they get up and say their goodbyes.
“I’m here for you, okay?”
“I need you to know that.”
They share a few chaste kisses and then part ways.
The entire encounter leaves Rachel frustrated and tearful.
“How am I supposed to have confidence in anything anyone says to me?”
“Is it better just to leave by myself?”
(That sound you hear in the distance is me screamingYES!
YES, IT IS!at my TV screen.)
Here’s hoping family visit number two goes better.
Awww, I love Grandpa!
When Gabby announces that Erich is the only one left, Gramps doesn’t miss a beat.
“I know Erich,” he says.
“He’s a dips—.”
“I love you,” says Grandpa, wrapping Gabby in a big hug.
“I love you, I love you.”
I hate it when this show makes me cry, dang it!
), he talks about the “crazy connection” he has with the brown-haired Bachelorette.
“I can’t imagine my life without her at this point,” says Erich.
Aunt Julie hates hearing her niece in so much pain.
“That sucks,” says Aunt Julie.
“You shouldn’t have had to go through that, and I’m sorry that you did.”
She encourages Gabby to share these feelings of doubt and insecurity with Erich.
“Let him be the one to understand you,” she says.
“Let him see you for all that you are.”
Good advice, Aunt Julie!
The evening ends with hugs and smooches and more tears from sweet Grandpa John.
“I just love her,” he says.
“I want the best for her.”
Holy cow, rose lovers only one family visit left.
Man, this heavily padded two-hour episode is just flying by.
Drink up, honey!
Maybe he’ll do better in a one-on-one with Rachel’s mom.
“Do you think you guys have enough in common?”
Tino’s reply: “Yeah.”
Mom’s all,Uh, could you maybe elaborate?
Does Tino think his parents will come around to this (potential) engagement?
“Absolutely,” he says.
God, he can be so smarmy.
“Your daughter does mean the world to me,” says Tino.
“I’m going to make your daughter happy forever.”
Big Tony LOVES it but then again, he hasn’t seen the previews for the finale next week.
This week’s episode ends with the Last Chance Dates, both of which result in difficult conversations.
I want you to come visit me,” he says.
I want us to be fully, fully in love with each other.”
“Do you know how that felt for me?”
she asks, weeping.
“I thought… that we were on the same page.”
As you might imagine, rose lovers, this doesn’t sit well with Rachel.
She shakes her head sadly.
“I want to be engaged.
I want someone who’s sure about me,” she says.
“I’m not willing to sacrifice that at the end of the day.”
But he cannot, as she puts it, give her what she needs.
“I can’t, like, move forward,” Rachel says through tears.
“It’s over.”
She dissolves into gasping sobs, and Aven buries his head in his hands.
“I’m never going to get over this,” he mumbles.
Once alone in his confessional, Aven does look pretty inconsolable.
“I’ve failed,” he says.
“I didn’t think I was going to be leaving here without Rachel.”
Congratulations, Tino you’re Rachel’s second choice!
“I really did see him and I at the end of it,” she says.
And wouldn’t you know it?
Much like Zach, Aven begins his chat with Rachel by offering a big oldmea culpa.
“I’m extremely, extremely sorry about the way things ended between us.
I blindsided you with everything, that wasn’t fair,” he says.
“I definitely feel like I let you down in that moment and I’m truly sorry.”
Rachel is empathetic and she gets that Aven was just being true to himself and his needs.
“It’s all completely understandable,” she tells him.
“At the end of the day you were just being honest with yourself.”
I mean, fair enough?
Especially when THERE IS NO REASON TO DO IT other than to just producers.
Erich and Gabby’s Last Chance date starts off well.
Still, Gabby needs a little reassurance that Erich will propose on the final day.
“I obviously didn’t expect to ever be here in this position,” says Erich.
“It’s been crazy, but I truly love you.
Too late, sir!
Expectations are here, and they are not going anywhere.
“I do want a proposal from him,” Gabby tells us.
“I just want to know the truth.”
The Bachelorette takes Erich out on the balcony where they can talk without cameras in their faces.
(The cameras are instead filming them through a glass door.)
“The last thing I want to do is put pressure on you,” says Gabby.
Erich, like Aven, wants their relationship to take a more natural path.
“I really want us to work,” he says.
“I want to date you, in the real world.
I want to date you and getting engaged before that happens is not how things usually go.”
Sure, but it IS how things usually go onThe Bachelorette, buddy.
He willingly went into hometowns knowing that doing so would signal to Gabby that he was ready to propose.
That may not be rational, BUT THAT IS HOW THIS SHOW WORKS.
THE SHOW THAT HE VOLUNTARILY SIGNED UP FOR.
If he had doubts, he needed to start raising the alarm way before that.
Anyhow, Gabby is quite disheartened by her conversation with Erich on the balcony.
“He said, ‘I want to continue to date you,'” she says.
“That doesn’t scream, ‘I want to propose.'”
She walks out of the hotel suite crying, as a producer trails behind her.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” she says.
“I’m so sick of this.”
“Here we are, a big fat dumpster fire,” she groans.
“A big [bleeping] mess.”
Do you want to see Zach inParadise?
And what did you think about Erich’sblackface apology?
Post your thoughts below!
