about Cody (who?).
Plus, shirtless mud wrestling!
No one touches the fruit.
Tayshia Adams, Kaitlyn Bristowe, and Katie Thurston on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
No one drinks the smoothies.
I hope the crew went to town on that spread after shooting ended.
Katie greets them outside.
‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Fortunately, they’re all heading inside, where… this awaits them.
“It’s a dark room with sex stuff,” explains Mike the virgin, helpfully.
First up, a pop quiz!
‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Down with the patriarchy, dude.)
I wonder how Mike the virgin is doing with this sex quiz?
Hey, at least he’s honest.
Connor B. on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“Do I write, ‘I’m a virgin’?”
“I just put question marks because I want her to hear it from my lips first.”
The poor guy is so stressed out he starts crying.
‘The Bachelorette’.Mike P. on ‘The Bachelorette’
Oh look, Connor B. the aspiring musician math teacher from Nashville decided to whip out his guitar.
Whatreallygets a woman hot is a guy who does household chores without asking.
Also:
Correct, that’s Box Guy with his junk in a box.
Connor B. and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
If only someone could have packed Karl up and shipped him offsite before it was his turn.
), and it only gets worse.
Karl makes the rest of the guys “suffercate” (new word alert!)
Thomas and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Luckily for Mike P., Karl is a very easy act to follow.
Katie, who wipes away tears while listening to Mike’s speech, LOVES it.
Yet with kiss No.
Katie and Greg on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Even without the paws, that’s pretty weird, bro.
Meanwhile, Karl keeps talking about Katie’s “journey” to find “love” in athletic/transactional terms.
“My whole world is business, locking down contracts, making deals,” he says.
Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“There’s still time left in the game,” he assures us.
Katie’s getting pretty hot and heavy with Thomas… who gets the date rose.
“I am pissed,” huffs Karl.
ABC
“We’re going to have to fix this during the cocktail party.”
Katie arrives at the guys' casa in a vintage Chevy pickup truck.
The other dudes are so jealous they start breaking furniture.
ABC
On second thought, maybe that was an accident.
The date is one of those faux camping adventures likethe one Matt took with BrionThe Bachelor.
None of that matters because Katieliiiikeshim.
Aaron and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Even when he’s sitting on a bucket toilet.
“I feel like we’re dating,” she giggles.
“We did make out while he was sitting on the toilet.
Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
It was hot.”
Later, Katie gets emotional while talking with Greg about her dad, who died in 2012.
They spend the afternoon fishing, and then it’s off to dinner.
‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
He’s crying, Katie’s crying, all of God’s children are crying.
Awww, just give him the date rose already!
Yes, James I think you’re right.
Andrew and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“I have never been woken up this aggressively in my entire life,” says John.
There’s no time!
It’s nice, I guess, that producers didn’t make the guys ruin their own clothes.
“Love is messy,” explains Katie.
“That’s what today is really about.”
Is it, though?
“To my brothers, you’ve got the option to’t have my stuff.”
(I think I love Kyle?)
John, who one of the other guys describes as “super-thin,” is matched with Josh.
And he does, rose lovers!
It’s a draw!
(Also, very into this bearded ringmaster.
Producers, just send him to Paradise to referee oil wrestling or something.)
Right away, Katie notices the tension between her two suitors.
“They are avoiding eye contact,” she whispers.
“He’s not here for the Right ReasonsTM,” adds Aaron.
“I’m gonna double-check I come out on top.”
Don’t be silly, Cody Aaron is most DEFINITELY going to talk crap about you to Katie.
(Maybe he’s just anti-eye contact?)
“The way he handles situations, to me, I find disturbing.”
(Well, this explains why we saw Aaron talking smack to Cody on night one.)
The Bachelorette does NOT love it.
Are you “malicious” and “unkind”?
“I’m not that way at all,” he insists.
“That’s just not factual information.”
“I wish I knew so I could clarify it for you,” he tells the Bachelorette.
Maybe Aaron is “exaggerating,” he suggests.
Katie is not buying it, nor should she.
“He didn’t seem genuine,” she fumes.
“He almost just looked rehearsed.”
While Katie goes to think things over, Cody who is “so heated right now” confronts Aaron.
“How would anyone know we knew each other if you kept your mouth shut?”
he asks his rival.
“Obviously, she has a tainted view [of me] now.”
Well, you got that right, sir.
Cody, would you like join Katie outside?
Your ride is here.
“Unfortunately, I think it’s best for you to go home tonight.”
At least he brought her a beverage.
The Bachelorette gets it, having grown up poor herself.
“You are exceptional,” says Andrew, and Katie LOVES it.
But the date rose goes to… Andrew S.!
Not surprising, especially since Katie was the one who leaned in first for their kiss.
Bring on the final cocktail party!
Michael is so sweet, and I would hate to see him get cut this early.
I know that there are some people that don’t have the best intentions, okay?"
Trustworthy people do not have to declare their trustworthiness!
“Iwantto trust Karl, but I really don’t know him well,” sighs Katie.
“I just don’t know who’s really here for me anymore.”
To that end, Katie gathers all the men in the sitting room and gives them the what for.
Shaking with anger, the Bachelorette issues yet another directive.
“Does anyone want to say anything?”
The men sit in scared silence.
And with that, Katie summons Aaron for another one-on-one chat.
She trusts him, and she hopes he can shed some light on this situation.
Back in the holding pen, the men are understandably confused about what caused Katie’s outburst.
(Which is, as we know, a flat-out lie.)
All the men in unison: “You already did!”
“you’re free to’t speculate if it’s gonna cause damage!”
Long story short: Karl is a lying liar who lies.
It’s time to send him home!
Oh, wait… we’ll have to wait until next week for that.
Episode two is over, rose lovers!
So, what have we learned?
Before you go, rose lovers, kindly share your hot takes.
Is Greg the one to beat?
Isanyonethere for the right reasons?
And do you think I could pull off that green dress?
(Actually, don’t answer that.)
See you next week!
