It might be time to riot, rose lovers.
Isn’t this a violation of the Geneva Convention?
Or at least a betrayal of Bachelor Nation’s unending loyalty?
Jason and Gabby.ABC
Just serve us the drama in one giant dose!
Okay, end of rant.
She walked away frustrated, and now Erich is filled with regret.
Dude, what show did you think you were on?.ABC
“I kind of lost trust in us, and her.
I got really in my head, and I wish I didn’t,” he says sadly.
“I f—ed up.”
Love don’t sleep here anymore.ABC
Oh, wait Gabby’s coming back.
I thought she left his ass for the night.
And she’s not mad… she’s just disappointed.
Gabby’s fed up.ABC
“I think your heart is in the right place,” she says.
Will this be enough to earn Gabby’s forgiveness?
It’s chill and fun, and Gabby is giggling non-stop and having a great time.
Rachel and Zach.ABC
Jason’s having fun, too… but there’s an asterisk on his happiness.
But first, a dip in the pool.
As they smooch and frolic in the water, producers cut back to Erich moping in his hotel room.
Zach is feelin' the heat.ABC
I’m guessing the latter, but it’s fun to pretend, isn’t it?)
Ugh, Gabby’s date with Jason is going so well.
“I am truly falling in love with him,” she gushes.
STOP YELLING, JESSE!.ABC
Jason’s revelation hits Gabby like a punch in the gut.
It’s a bummer, because everything Jason is saying is perfectly reasonable.
Gabby’s on the verge of tears, and she excuses herself to vent to a producer.
The look of love?.ABC
“To wait this long to hear where he’s at definitely hurts,” she says, sniffling.
“Today was a really special day, and a big step in our relationship,” he says.
But the Bachelorette isn’t convinced.
Real men shed tears.ABC
Is the potential for “a serious relationship” ultimately going to be enough for her?
Gabby isn’t sure but she’s also not ready to walk away from Jason.
Maybe a night away from the cameras and crew will help them figure things out?
Uhhh… okay.ABC
Let’s hope so, because Gabby and Jason are off to the Fantasy Suite to talk things through.
Cut to the next morning:
Uh-oh.
That’s not a good sign.
Guess you’ll have to sweat it out a little longer, Tino and Aven.ABC
Nor is the fact that we find Gabby standing alone at the balcony.
“Waking up, I’m hurt, and I’m devastated,” she says.
Last night, she and Jason spent hours “talking in circles” without ever landing on a resolution.
Awwwww!.ABC
“I was like, ‘Maybe it’s not meant to be,'” recalls Gabby through tears.
“And he was like, ‘Yeah, definitely.’
Like, when were you going to tell me that?”
Jason is chastened but his position hasn’t changed.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“I genuinely want the best for you and think you’re an amazing person.”
“I truly just want you to realize that I’ve been led on,” she says.
With that, Gabby walks back out into the sunshine, wiping away tears.
“He never loved me,” she sobs.
“It’s not even that he didn’t want an engagement he didn’t want me.”
Now the Bachelorette is in full spiral mode, weeping about how Johnny didn’t want her either.
But Gabby’s too emotional to see reason right now, and that’s okay.
We’ve all gotten caught in a catastrophizing tailspin after a breakup:No one will ever love me!
I’m doomed to die alone!
You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.
Hmmm, I wonder how Rachel’s doing right now?
Oh, that’s right!
She still has one overnight date left.
They stroll through the town, perusing souvenir shops and sampling local cuisine.
Of course, Zach is blissfully unaware of this fact… for now.
“I’m more than excited.”
You know what time it is, rose lovers!
“And nothing coming out of this night can change that.”
Why’d you have to go and jinx it like that?
Because yeah, this isn’t the face of a man who had a magical night with his wife-to-be.
The morning-after vibe is, at best, awkward.
“We did have a big night and we talked about a lot of things,” says Zach.
Hmmm… what do you suppose that “tough conversation” was about, rose lovers?
“Fantasy Suite night with Rachel was not the night I expected,” says Zach.
He brushed it off, telling Rachel that he truly is ready but the Bachelorette did not back down.
“She got really adamant, like, ‘Are you ready?
Are you sure?'”
She was putting on a front."
Okay, let me see if I’m getting this right.
Weird, but I suppose it’s possible.
Whatever’s going on, Zach is totally beside himself.
He goes to see Palmer for a little guidance.
“It was very unauthentic [sic] sometimes,” he adds.
Palmer listens sympathetically and tries to console him.
“I’m sorry, man,” he says.
“What do you want to do?”
Zach decides that he needs to tell Rachel how hurt and confused he was by their Fantasy Suite conversation.
Should be fun to how they both handle themselves tonight…
Sorry, what’s that you say, Palmer?
I guess we’ll be diving into Rachel and Zach’s drama first?
The sole Bachelorette is just about to pick up her first rose when Zach interrupts.
“Rachel, can we speak?”
Though taken aback, she agrees, and Zach leads her outside for a chat.
Guess what, though?
After a bit of a preamble, the Bachelorette lets Erich know that he’s the last man standing.
“You’ve fought for me so much,” she says.
And… you’re the only one left."
Dang it, am I crying?
God, I’m such a sucker.
Obviously, Erich LOVES it.
They share a long embrace.
“I love you, Gabby,” he murmurs into her neck.
Oh man, just pass me the damn tissues.
Let’s listen in…
Sorry, what’s that you say, Palmer?
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY!
Wine, couch, TV, gear to tweet on what else do we need?
Welp, rose lovers, we made it through back-to-back episodes.
How are you feeling about everything that went down?
What do you think happened between Zach and Rachel during their off-camera time?
Are you happy Gabby ended up with Erich (at least for now)?
And do you think Rachel looks like a child in a16th century Danish painting?
Post your thoughts below!
