It’s week 6, and things are getting real, rose lovers!
“Tayshia, thank you for introducing me to Blake,” Katie says.
“Our one-on-one date wasso good.”
Aaron has a hot tub moment on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
God bless Aaron for agreeing to this silliness:
Who needs dignity when you’ve got screen time?
Kaitlyn and Tayshia are apparently not fans ofa certainSeinfeldepbecause they do not know what Katie means.
“So, like not do their skin-care routine?”
The man, the myth, the mystery: Franco.ABC
“Like no shaving?”
Good lord, women does Katie have to spell it out for you?
“We’re going a little deeper than that,” explains the Bachelorette.
Gotta get that product shot!.ABC
“Friendly handshake with themselves are off-limits.”
“I’ve heard some things,” she notes with a grin.
Kaitlyn agrees to bring this challenge to the men, and shelovesit.
Katie and Justin share a (fake) wedding kiss on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
Welcome to “Operation WOWO,” boys!
“Stay off the lotion.
Stop running the shower,” Kaitlyn commands.
Justin and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Don’t they look excited?
“This is going to change our journey forever,” says Connor B.
(I’ll admit, that’s funny.)
Monét X Change and Shea Coulée on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Mike P., though, isn’t worried: “I’ve been mastering this my whole life!”
“Feeding the wild stallion”?
“How you like them apples”?).
Katie and Andrew smooch on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
Anyhow, dudes, good luck with all that.
On to the dates!
Justin gets the first one-on-one of the week.
Hunter defends himself on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
“Does that happen?”
“It’s happened,” says Hunter.
“It’s happened especially to the guy who gets the first one.
Jason Tartick and Kaitlyn Bristowe on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
It doesn’t happen often, I will say that.”
Hmmm… anyone else thinking that Hunter knows a little too muchBachelorettehistory?
To me, any previous knowledge of the show is a red flag.
Katie kisses Connor on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
OnBig Brother, it’s no big deal when “superfans” get cast.
OnThe BachelorandThe Bachelorette, though, it screams Wrong ReasonsTM.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she already had the top four picked,” Hunter continues.
Connor and Katie on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“And my opinion is that me, you, and Connor are already in the top four.”
The whole conversation makes Greg uncomfortable.
“Hunter seems to me, like, a little calculated,” he says.
Blake pulls a ‘Say Anything’ on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
“But I’m not trying to get into any drama.”
Hey everybody, look who’s here!
He hands them notebooks so they can write their vows.
Blake and Katie have a deep conversation on ‘The Bachelorette.'.ABC
And hey, the show even loaned Katie a diamond ring to help get her in the wedding mood.
Is that a Neil Lane?
I’m guessing not, because I don’t hate it.
Katie has some bad ‘Bachelorette’ news.ABC
Back at Potential Husband HQ, word has spread about Hunter the “Bachelorette historian.”
James says that he heard Hunter “was in the forums and s—.”
That may be an r/rumor, but I believe it.
Katie and Hunter on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“He’s a f—ing little sneakster,” gripes Aaron.
Oh crap, we’re missing the wedding!
What a fun, essentially meaningless exercise!
“We have this connection that is so strong,” gushes Katie.
My mom kept that a secret," says Katie.
You have really gone through it in this life.
Either way, Justin handles it well.
“You continue to amaze me with the strength that you have,” he says.
“I want to know how I can support you and affect you in a positive way.”
Guys, do I suddenly really like Justin?
I think I might!
Katie does, too, and she gives him the date rose.
Then they dance to a singer-songwriter-slash-belatedBachelorsuperfan whocalls himself MAX.
It’s group date time, henny!
Today’s group date activity?
Throwing shade, drag-queen style.
Pay attention, class Shea Couleeis about to show Hunter how it’s done.
Grab a beer and your burn book, boys, and start drafting those roasts!
“Hunter is definitely the most nervous,” gloats Aaron.
“He knows he’s the easiest target by far, and he’s about to get it.”
“I think it would cheapen what we have,” he explains.
When the “Debate” starts, though, the men do not bring the heat.
Apoem!The queens are not amused.
Shea Coulee demands the tea, dammit!
“It’s cute that you have a top four list already,” says Brendan.
“It’s funny that you’re in my bottom four.”
And I think that woman’s you."
Cool, cool, cool.
Kind of bummed we didn’t get to see Michael A.
’s roasts… but I’m guessing they would have been about as adorable asDr.
Joe’s “trash talk"on Tayshia’s season ofThe Bachelorette.
On to the cocktail party!
“I heard some things that were are a little concerning today,” says Katie during her toast.
Oh, snap, the Bachelorette ain’t playin’, rose lovers.
Andrew S. is all, “Challenge accepted!”
“I’m definitely, like, starting to really feel this,” he tells Katie.
“When we kiss, there’s no way anyone kisses the way we kiss.
Looks pretty standard to me.
“I just feel like I can’t read you sometimes,” he mumbles.
“How are you feeling, like, with us?”
Got it, Greg?
Can you stop fritzing now?
If you thought that was annoying, wait until it’s Blake’s turn to complain.
“I’m really built up,” he informs the Bachelorette.
(He also isn’t clear on what “WOWO” stands for: Week Off Wacking Off.)
Apparently, Blake likes to hoist his own petard every day, with some bonus rounds on the weekend.
This makes them both giggle, and then they make out a little bit.
“I see his behavior as almost calculated.”
Hunter, what do you have to say for yourself?
“You’ve seen people get ganged up on,” Hunter reminds Katie.
“I can only handle my side of the street…
I don’t want drama for you.
I’m sorry.”
The Bachelorette doesn’t know what to believe.
Are the guys just out to get Hunter?
Does she even really know Hunter?
(Obviously not.)
The pressure is too much for her to handle.
We hear retching sounds through the door.
Eventually, Katie makes it back to the holding pen.
Though Michael A. and Brendan still haven’t spent time with her, Katie says the party is over.
On top of that, no one is getting a rose!
Nice job, potential husbands.
Even though the Bachelorette just left, you better sit here and think about what you’ve done.
Producers will tell you when you’re allowed to leave.
Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?
A: Nice belt!
Welp, that was more fun than anything we were about to watch.
“When we kiss, I don’t feel that spark or that passion,” she admits.
“My hope is that we can get beyond that.”
And hey, look who’s here to help!
And thus a one-on-one date becomes a three-on-good-luck-buddy.
That said, the date itself resembles something you might do in real life.
There’s grilling, backyard volleyball, dad jokes, and some kind of weird game involving a coconut.
“I never thought that was a thing until Jason.”
The Bachelorette is willing to keep trying.
Meanwhile, Kaitlyn and Jason are literally watching them from afar.
“We are so creepy,” admits the former Bachelorette.
Then comes the moment of truth.
So, was the smooch magic or mundane?
Connor, of course, thinks it’s the former.
“Today was just incredible,” he gushes.
“We’re just really, really connected and close.”
And she feels so bad about it, she started crying before she even arrived!
“It’s okay,” murmurs Connor.
“I know where this is going.”
As do we all, sir.
“You’ve done nothing wrong,” says Katie through her tears.
“When we kiss, there was something missing in that kiss.”
What else is there to say?
“God, how bad of a kisser am I?”
Perhaps we’ll see you on the latter half ofParadise.
Oh, this is interesting.
Awwww, Michael A. even gives him a kiss on the cheek, like the den father he is.
The men are all in tears.
“I’m shook right now,” sighs Tre.
“I was not expecting to see you tonight,” she tells him between smooches.
Blake says he just wanted to ensure she was okay after kicking Connor to the curb.
I repeat, she reallylovesit.
“I had no idea how romantic he could be,” she swoons.
“With Blake and I, there’s just overflowing passion.”
Finally, they pry themselves apart and Blake heads back to his room.
Excellent troll by producers.
There isn’t much time left in the episode when the men arrive for the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party.
Sorry to these men, but Katie has decided to cancel the cocktail party.
Welp, that’s that, then.
Take your spots on the risers, gentlemen.
It’s time for the rose ceremony roll call!
The Bachelorette is looking for “clarity,” and Hunter is tap-dancing as fast as he can.
“I did that because I was on fire with emotions.”
“I’m surprised because she said she made up her mind,” says Aaron.
“But this seems like a game-time decision.”
Sure does, buddy.
(Did I mention that production on this seasonwrapped two weeks early?
Perhaps that played a role in this run-out-the-clock maneuver.)
Finally, finally, finally, Hunter returns to the rose ceremony… without a boutonniere on his chest.
Let’s try this again.
Goodbye, gents we’ll miss most of you.
“It’s been a beautiful journey.”
Awww… get this guy onParadise!
Gah, only two more weeks until hometowns, rose lovers!
How are you feeling about the final seven men?
Am I the only one who’s surprised that Justin got a rose?
And would Greg and Monet X Change make a good couple?
Post your thoughts below!
