In week two of Zach’s “journey,” the dates and the emotional spiraling begin.
Plus, Latto pays a visit!
It’s week two, rose lovers, and things are getting real!
Wait, who?.ABC
(Sorry: “real.")
Enjoy the camaraderie now, ladies.
Also, drink up Palmer’s here.
Latto greets the ladies.ABC
What’s with the chyron?
The host drops off the first date card.
You’re going on a group date!
If you have to ask…ABC
Her name is Latto, and she’s up for Best New Artist this year.
“What’s up, ladies?”
“I’m looking for some bad bitch energy today!”
Tahzjuan, Victoria, and Courtney.ABC
I mean, just look at his dance face:
“Nope!”
Gotta love the self-awareness.
Yes, that’s Genevie failing to keep her crown in place while strangling Zach with a gymnastics ribbon.
Katherine and Zach.ABC
“Some of the girls need to try a little harder,” notes Tahz.
What does that even mean?
“When you stood your ground,” explains Zach.
Brianna and Zach.ABC
“When you just were yourself.”
She kept her curls for the competition anyway and won.
Nice work, Kylee!
Like a bad penny…ABC
Brooklyn ends hers by inviting Zach to the bar for a tequila shot…
… and then a kiss.
“You’re all bad bitches in my eyes,” Latto tells them at the end.
But the winner is…
The women confront Tahzjuan.ABC
Wait, there’s no winner?
Why am I slightly disappointed?
On to the after party.
Good advice.ABC
(Um, shouldn’t everyone technically be there because they want a relationship?)
“There’s something here.
I dunno,” says Zach.
Get a room.ABC
Even though they have a “best friend thing” going on (uh, since when???
), Katherine wants the Bachelor to know something important: “You’re not just my friend.”
You don’t say?
?????.ABC
Does Zach even like me?And so on.
The night is going well.
A little too well.
Christina and her rose.ABC
Producer pawn, activate!
“She’s trying to move in!”
“You guys are here for love.
Ariel and Zach.ABC
I’m also here for love.
And if my conversation makes you uncomfortable, then that speaks for itself.”
As you might imagine, the women do NOT love it.
Zach and Gabi.ABC
“You guys aren’t all going to marry Zach,” she scoffs.
“You guys do know that?”
LOL, she’s not wrong.
Christina and Brianna.
All of a sudden, Zach is back, and he has an announcement.
“Tahz wanted to join the group, and [unnecessarily long pause]…
I couldn’t say yes to that,” he reports.
The women are thrilled, but Tahz, for all her bravado, is hurt and embarrassed.
“Not gonna cry,” she whispers.
“Like, bad bitches don’t cry.”
That’s right, faceless producer!
Crying is healthy and healing.
Anyhow, Katherine gets the date rose.
The next morning, Katherine, Jess, Brianna, and one of the raven-haired women (Gabi?
), sit in one of the pool cabanas talking about kissing with tongue.
The black-haired one is like, “Knock it off, you got the rose.”
She’s excited (and a little nervous) to tell Zach that she has a daughter.
The official band of mediocre white men everywhere.
Rose lovers, when he said that I gasped so loud it scared the dog.
It pains me to tell you that Christina LOVES it.
But not as much as she loves the helicopter ride!
There are more “romantic” surprises to come!
Free Chap’s money!)
She mingles easily with Zach’s sisters and cousin.
“Should we tell her about the rash?”
(Um, yeah, you probably should…?)
“I think you’re literally wearing a red flag in that picture,” jokes Christina.
Mama shows her pictures of Zach as a baby, which makes Christina miss her own daughter even more.
Don’t worry, honey.
You’re in the previews for next week’s episode, so clearly things go well.
“I do have a daughter, and she’s five almost six.
She’s my world,” says Christina of her little girl, Blakeley.
“She just started kindergarten, I had to send her off to school by myself.
I want to have those experiences with somebody.”
“It’s scary, don’t get me wrong,” he admits.
“It’s something I do need to think about, because it scares me s—less.”
Once alone in his confessional, Zach gets emotional.
“I don’t know how to react to this,” he frets.
“I’m scared of it, and I think sometimes you have to be selfish.”
His eyes fill with tears, and he walks away.
“I really, really appreciated my time with you,” says the Bachelor.
In other words, Christina Mandrell gets the rose.
Either way, she rides back to Casa Bachelor secure in her safety for the week.
Group date number two is really just a glorified cocktail party.
But tonight will NOT be the first time I struggle to tell quite a few of these women apart.
She’s excited to show the Bachelor just how “sensitive” she can be.
This whole thing has been a set-up.
I’m not sure if that is grammatically sound, but it works.
Well played, Ariel.
But Zach’s lips are just getting started.
He smooches Greer, Kaity, and Charity, too, before sitting down with Jess.
“I don’t think I’ve ever actually said this out loud,” admits Zach.
Jess thanks him for his candor and then they, too, share a smooch.
“It’s hard not to pick yourself apart in this environment,” she says with a sigh.
And that, dear girl, is by design.
When her time finally comes to sit down with the Bachelor, Gabi has a very ambitious agenda.
Good luck with all that, toots!
The chat… does not start out well.
Gabi jumps right in by announcing that she likes to give people nicknames.
“Can I call you Zacharius?
(Short answer: c’mon don’t.)
From what we can see, Zach doesn’t really get a chance to say much.
“What did you bring to the table?
Nicknames,” she scolds herself.
“Did my conversation with him literally mean nothing?”
Of course not, Gabi!
Do things that “literally mean nothing” air on national television?
(Don’t answer that.)
The final cocktail party of the week arrives, and Zach puts his foot in it right away.
I can’t decide if hiding the family visit was a smart move or a dumb one.
Someone get the bullseye stencil time for production to paint a target on Christina’s back.
In her second sit-down with Zach, Gabi is far more composed.
And he LOVES it.
“With you, I get giddy and butterflies in my stomach constantly,” says Zach.
“Do you want toLady and the Trampit?”
Of course he does.
Good job, Gabi!
From worst to… well, maybe not first, but at least she’s no longer last.
Meanwhile, in the driveway:
Sure, why not?
As the night wears on, Brianna starts coming apart at the emotional seams.
Rather than continuing to stew over it, Brianna pulls Christina aside and tells her how she feels.
From there, Brianna gets her sit-down with Zach.
“For the most part, it was good,” she continues.
“But one person… Do you want to know who it is?”
To Brianna’s credit, she chooses not to tattle though I’m sure the temptation was there.
And on that note, Brianna, here comes Jesse Palmer with his Butter Knife of Bad News!
Rose ceremony roll call!
join Katherine, Jess, and Christina in the Circle of SafetyTM.
That means we must say a fond (?)
farewell to Cat, Victoria, and Kimberly.
But the good news is, you won’t have to listen to Nickelback!
Do you have any favorites so far, rose lovers?
Post your thoughts below!
