This week onThe Bachelor, Zach really said, “Save the drama for your mama.”
Plus, we got our first self-elimination of the season.
He and Catherine wish Zach good luck as he heads into week three.
Sean Lowe gets a call from Zach.ABC
Great filler, producers.
Can we hey get the episode started for real?
The first one-on-one is a rare evening date, and it goes to… Kaity!
Zach has the key to Kaity’s heart.ABC
The limo takes them to LA’s Natural History Museum, which of course is closed for the night.
But don’t worry, Kaity Zach has a key!
And it is kind of appropriate because this date does involve an overnight stay.
Zach and Kaity.ABC
(More on that in a minute.)
((just drink responsibly.))
Eventually, they sit down for dinner in front of a dinosaur display.
Cozy set-up at the museum.ABC
“You are such a genuine guy,” says Kaity.
“I just never have experienced anything romantic, and I literally just went zero to 100.”
This is the second time Kaity’s mentioned never experiencing anything romantic, which is quite sad to hear.
Kaity’s home!.ABC
She’s made it to 27 years on this Earth without any romance?
“It took a toll on me,” she tells Zach.
“It made me put up a lot of guards and question my self-worth… She stops, her eyes filling with tears.
Women who are not having it: A triptych.ABC
“I just want a good man,” she adds quietly.
Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Damn right, dude!
Your Bachelor Bowl announcers.ABC
With that, the Bachelor offers Kaity the date rose.
That’s right it’s a sleepover.
And don’t worry, those tent beds won’t stay apart for long.
Woman down!.ABC
“I don’t think she’s coming back soon,” frets Gabi.
“It definitely looks like a walk of shame,” says Brooklyn with a sigh.
“But I don’t want to think about that.”
The agony of defeat.ABC
“It was such a fun night at the museum,” she says.
“He wanted to, like, just spend the night together, so it was very romantic.
It was a really good time.”
Zach and Charity.ABC
And no, she didn’t get any sleep.
As you might imagine, the other women do NOT love it.
Welp, ladies, you’re just going to have to bring your A-game on the group date.
Bailey gets to the point.ABC
(Everyone except Aly, who is getting the second one-on-one.)
“Football is like love,” says Zach.
“It’s extremely hard on your body and often leads to debilitating brain injuries.”
Charity and Brooklyn.ABC
(Okay, fine I made the second part of his quote up.
But am I wrong?)
Anyhoo, everybody, yo welcome “NFL legends” Shawne Merriman and Antonio Gates!
How romantic.ABC
“Bachelor Bowl 5!”
“I’ve actually done CrossFit since I was 11 years old,” she announces.
(Um… that actually doesn’t sound like a good thing?
Free fallin'.ABC
I feel like children shouldn’t be participating in bootcamp-like exercise programs…?)
Anyhoo, it’s time for “the most anticipated sporting event of the year.”
(Ariel, Bailey, Brooklyn, Christina, Charity, Kat, and Kylee) in blue.
Zach and Aly.ABC
(Blue balls, get it?
The clock has barely even started before we get our first injury.
“I knew she wasn’t hurt,” scoffs Brooklyn.
Pool party shenanigans.ABC
“She’s just milking this injury.”
“It’s okay,” says one of her teammates.
“We won’t tell anyone.”
Ariel and Zach.ABC
No need the show just told the entire nation.
I’ll spare you the full play-by-play, rose lovers.
Though the game was tied at the half, the Ball-Zachs pulled ahead and took the win, 14-7.
Brianna says ‘bye.ABC
Team Blue heads to Clifton’s Cabinet of Curiosities for their victory party.
“Trust in what we have,” he says, and then they smooch.
Next up is Charity, who once again looks amazing in hot pink.
[Sobbing noises].ABC
The Bachelor LOVES it.
“Your effort on this date made me feel special,” he says.
“I’m a big fan.”
I’m guessing that sling is not an accessory.ABC
Awww, I love Charity.
Not sure Zach is the guy for her, but if she’s happy, I’m happy.
“Christina really likes to talk about her one-on-one time with Zach,” notes Kat.
“It does make me feel uncomfortable.”
She’s not alone.
“Respectfully, like you said, you’ve had a one-on-one,” she says.
“Like, weknow.
We’ve heard about your one-on-one.
We’ve heard that you met the family.
But honestly, I feel like it’s almost malicious.”
Ariel nods in agreement, and Bailey can’t stop herself from smiling.
The editing of the exchange is a bit wonky.
Come on, dude!
You’re in charge here.
You should have had enough respect for Bailey to finish the conversation.
Naturally, Bailey is pretty upset by her brief time with the Bachelor.
“I do feel like he wasn’t hearing me.”
Rather than giving up, Bailey decides to track Zach down and give it another spin.
“I really, really want to be here,” says Bailey.
Once again, Bailey does not get the response she was hoping for.
“I’m just not confident that there is a future between us,” says Zach gently.
“You are incredible, but I’m sorry.”
“I really was not expecting that,” says Charity, after Bailey leaves.
“That’s just crazy,” adds Kat.
Christina, however, is unfazed.
And it’s about to get worse.
Zach returns, and after solemnly acknowledging Bailey’s departure, he awards the date rose to Charity.
The therapist is thrilled.
“I really felt like I needed this validation,” she says.
The other women, though definitely disappointed, seem genuinely pleased for Charity.
“You deserve it,” says Kat, as the others echo their agreement.
Everyone, that is, except Christina.
“Um, I’m just confused, honestly,” she announces to no one in particular.
Charity, bless her heart, thinks this is directed at her.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Did I say something wrong?”
No, no, says Christina.
It’s just, “honestly, I’m mad that it wasn’t me.”
The other women cannot BELIEVE what they’re hearing.
Of course, that’s not the issue.
The issue is that she “hijacked” Charity’s big moment, as Brooklyn puts it.
Indeed, Charity is so upset that she has to get up and walk away from the group.
Now Kat’s had enough.
“Christina, you’re not focusing on what just happened,” she scolds.
“We lost one of our best friends.”
Charity is not dead, she’s just in the other room!)
It’s not all about you, Christina!
Or, as Brooklyn puts it:
Pretty sure the answer to that is a big ‘ol NO.
Time for your one-on-one date, Aly!
And congrats, today you’ll be… marrying Zach in a depressing warehouse parking lot?
Say it with me, rose lovers: BECAUSE LOVE IS LIKE A LEAP OF FAITH!
Three, two, one…
Oh f—is right, pal.
And I’m even happier that they didn’t plummet to a gruesome death.
“It’s, like, how I protect myself,” she says.
Zach seems to get it.
“I want to see more of you,” he says.
“What you are naturally is what I’m 100 percent interested in.”
Awwww, that’s kind of sweet, right?
Give her the dang rose, man!
Our first “private” concert of the season.
His name is Griffen Palmer, and apparently, he was one of the winners of NBC’sSonglandin 2020.
Slather on the SPF, folks.
The sun’s rays are lethal.
(Also, Zach’s already a little burned from his skydiving date.)
Obligatory chicken fight shot!
Of course, the women still find ways to pull Zach for some one-on-one time.
“My parents are watching!”
she yelps, before asking for a do-over.
“I’m really, really excited with the momentum I’m having with Ariel,” says Zach.
“The romantic spark is definitely there.”
To that end, she pulls Zach aside for a chat.
And those hard things, she continues, all boil down to Christina and “intimidation” tactics.
The Bachelor is, in his words, “shocked.”
As Brianna says her goodbyes to the women tears all around!
Zach is determined to “figure out what’s going on.”
He begins by asking Christina to join him for a solo chat.
“I was shocked, and I wanted to talk to you about that.”
That’s pretty skilled maneuvering on Christina’s part.
“I can’t have problems like this,” he groans.
“We have such limited time!”
Sensing the danger she’s in, Christina starts to cry.
“This makes no sense to me,” she wails, burying her face in her hands.
“like help me, help me, help me, help me.
c’mon, help me!”
The Bachelor says he needs time to think.
He gives Christina a hug and then heads off to get more intel from the other women.
As Brooklyn and Charity fill him in on the whole date-rose drama, Christina sobs on the staircase.
Rose ceremony roll call!
Wait… what happened to Genevie’s arm?
Guess things really did get rough at the Bachelor Bowl.
Okay, let’s try this again.
Rose ceremony roll call!
“I understand,” she whispers to Zach as he walks her out.
“I hope you find your best friend.”
Sadly, it’s not me.”
Buck up, Christina I’m sure you’ll get another shot at “love” in Paradise.
Well, rose lovers, what say you?
Did Zach make the right choice?
Is Kaity currently the one to beat, or do you think someone else is the frontrunner?
And what’s the weirdest thing that’s ever given you “the ick”?
Post your thoughts below!
