WARNING: This post contains spoilers fromThe Ultimatum: Queer Loveepisodes 5-8.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: What do you think about the energy you came onto the show with looking back?
It really threw me off.
Vanessa Papa and Tiff Der on ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’.Netflix
At the choice ceremony Mildred and Lexi make their feelings about your actions clear.
Were there any moments before that sit-down when you realized how some of the other participants felt about you?
She started questioning everything about me and my existence on the show.
Vanessa Papa and Raelyn Cheung-Sutton on ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’.Netflix
I didn’t realize how much she would hold onto those feelings.
Do you feel like you were misunderstood by the other participants?
You don’t really get a chance in life to see yourself from a different lens.
Xander Boger and Vanessa Papa on ‘The Ultimatum: Queer Love’.Netflix
Whether it’s a sad situation or an infuriating situation, I’m very sarcastic.
Being under the scrutiny of being filmed 24/7 I really leaned into that and it wasn’t taken well.
I’m working on it now.
What do you say to the critique that you were on the show to be famous?
My response is that every single person who was there chose to be on TV.
I was absolutely no different.
We all put our relationships on the line.
We could have done this off TV, but we all chose to do it on TV.
What did you take away from your time with Rae when you reunited with Xander?
Obviously I knew something was going on with Yoly and Xander.
I would see them holding hands.
I’m not an idiot.
It broke me during my trial marriage to Rae, so she had a lot to handle.
I give her props for that.
I took that advice.
The hardest part was relying on Xander telling me the truth about everything that happened with Yoly.
The biggest struggle was trust and slowly that trust was being broken.
If I was able to see the show, then things would have been different.
Everything was being filmed, so in my mind there can be no secrets.
I was honest about everything, but there’s definitely things that I watched that I was surprised by.
Are there any moments or choices you would go back and change if you could?
What was it like to have those conversations with your dad on the show?
My dad coming onto the show was great because I had a piece of home.
You seemed to have changed your view on marriage during your time on the show.
It comes down to my trial marriage with Rae and the conversations we had.
Rae realized she could commit to Lexi and I saw her go through all these questions in her mind.
It made me reflect and realize I love Xander.
This is someone I’ve had a wonderful life with for four years.
Why not commit to this person?
Was my hesitation that maybe we’ll get divorced one day?
Fifty percent of couples end up getting a divorce.
Let’s get married.
The Ultimatum: Queer Lovereturns with its final episodes June 7 on Netflix.
