Mindy Kaling’s HBO Max reboot makes Harley Quinn look… well, much better than Velma.
TheScooby-Doomagic is how something so bland is also so weird.
C’mon, though, Hanna-Barbera was just having a laugh on a deadline.
‘Velma’.HBO MAX
It’s a prequel that re-casts diversely, re-orients sexually, and over-backstories generally.
Should be fun, but it’s a self-aware slog.
Everyone talks like a TV writer who only knows TV writers.
“This is exactly what happened in my vlog about Lil Wayne!”
It’s so extra it’s minus.
Her boyfriend Fred (Glenn Howerton) personifies mediocre white richness.
His mansion holds a dark secret and he has teeny widdle privates, a subject of much conversation.
“Shaggy” has become Norville (Sam Richardson), a school-newspaper striver friendzoned by his beloved Velma.
He worries he’s a beta male; remember that lame humor concept from 20 years ago?
(For now, this reboot is dogless.)
Now Velma is a misfit searching for her disappeared mother and investigating a maniac cutting girls' heads open.
Hot Archie certainly looms over any mature riff on toddler-safe pop culture.
Some suspects are too suspicious too early.
Some animated reboots honor their foundation by improving it.
Cheap shots, but hey, some rebootsshoulddumb-shame their predecessors.
(Recall howSealab 2021used a forgotten Hanna-Barbera borefest as a toilet bowl for brain-bursting absurdity.)
ButVelmamostly replaces the old silly sensibility with crass name-droppy pointlessness.
Adopted by two moms, Daphne declares she was “baptized on the set ofEllen.”
Velma is not white, obvs.
Nor is she straight, which caused much excitement online.
than “Alex kisses MarissaandSeth.")
Obviously, anyone upset about these identity shifts is the worst.
But beyond the conceptual wow of half-century-old characters suddenly having definable traits,Velmaplays out like any other prequel.
Learn the secret origin of Velma’s glasses.
Learn the secret origin of Why Velma Says “Jinkies!”
The few fun ideas get buried under referential shenanigans.
And Daphne’s moms are married cops voiced by Jane Lynch and Wanda Sykes.
Why can’tthatbe a show, and not some franchise extension’s J-plot?
Look, male origins are terrible, end them all.
But also, rude to Black Widow, Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Rey, and most Catwomen.
It means something to re-orbit Gotham around funny bisexual supervillain girlfriends.
In the words of the philosopher: Ruh-roh.Grade: C
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