Welcome to season 3 of Netflix’sYou!
I wolf you all for taking this journey with me.
The mothers in town are a lot of things, but sweet ain’t one of them.
Victoria Pedretti and Penn Badgley in ‘You.'.JOHN P. FLEENOR/NETFLIX
Then there’s his perfect baby girl, who turned out to be a boy.
(Little Henry was hiding his light under a bushel during the sonograms.)
Glamma Dottie insists on calling the baby “Forty,” which Joe despises.
Victoria Pedretti and Penn Badgley in ‘You’.Netflix
And then there’s new neighbor Natalie (Michaela McManus).
Married to a wealthy tech pioneer.
With Joe convinced that Love’s the wrong woman for him, Natalie represents a tantalizing option.
Victoria Pedretti and Penn Badgley in ‘You.'.JOHN P. FLEENOR/NETFLIX
He’s Gatsby, and she’s the green light at the end of the dock.
And she seems into him too.
She turns off the household security cams, and their conversation becomes increasingly intimate.
‘You’ season 3.NETFLIX
But when she kisses him in her bedroom, he reluctantly declines for the sake of his family.
Good thing he did; Love came back home early, and she and Joe have hot married-couple sex.
Speaking of Love, she’s not loving Madre Linda.
‘You’ season 3.NETFLIX
The kindest person at the party turns out to be Natalie.
She takes Love under her wing and advises her to just do her own thing, loud and proud.
When Love confesses to wanting to open a bakery, Natalie the realtor says she has the perfect space.
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But on the way home, Love lays into Joe about Natalie.
Loveknowshim, knows how dangerous his obsessions can be to the target and to her own marriage.
They agree that this fresh start means they won’t have to do bad things ever again.
‘You’ season 3.NETFLIX
Meanwhile, Love walks through the potential bakery space with Natalie.
So with Natalie dead on the basement floor, Love calls Joe and suggests couples counseling.
Bookbindings
Episode 2: “So I Married an Axe Murderer”
Couples counseling: it works!
‘You’ season 3.NETFLIX
There, he uses Henry as a decoy to steal one, then checks another one out.
Then again, if shedidfully buy his act, I’d be just as worried.
Love’s still struggling in Madre Linda.
She’s excited about the new bakery until her mother chastises her for being so impulsive.
The party’s a nightmare.
Then she screams at Love when her children eat the cupcakesraspberries have sugar, don’t you know.
Y’all, I’m saving every drop of my concern for the librarian.
Sherry gets what she gets.
And listen, she’s got a bit of a point.
Theo the uncomfortably friendly gender studies major would be so proud of Love’s observation!
I actually feel a little bad for these two murderers, who probably ought to get divorced.
After a bout of intense sex, they promise to have a go at avoid killing for each other.
It’s… sweet?
Joe then suggests they build a new cage in the bakery basement to help them control their murderous urges.
But despite the newfound openness, they each hide a key inside.
Then A Fresh Tart opens for business!
Adorable name, 10/10, would buy lots of cupcakes there.
But they’re still concerned about what’s happening at Natalie’s house.
Love takes cupcakes over and is surprised when Theo opens the door.
Naturally, Sherry and her crew eat this up.
Joe is terrified and vows to be worthy of his son if he just gets better.
Oof, how awkward for someone who’s already new and an outsider.
This leaves Joe and Love with no choice but to frame Matthew, naturally.
Love waits at the hospital, where Theo shows up with dinner for her.
He wakes up on Matthew’s couch, having passed out near the Engler’s trash.
When he gets the news that Henry’s going to be okay, he decides not to frame him.
Love agrees, and they burn the scarf.
Joe also urges Matthew to make a statement to the press, and he finally does.
Oh, did you think this episode would end without an attempted murder?
Episode 4: “Hands Across Madre Linda”
How do you solve a problem like Gil?
You frame him for the murder you committed and call it a day.
How that tiny woman got Gil downstairs and locked up is beyond me.
If you’ve got to be locked up, do it in a bakery.
They catch a break when Love hires her dad’s investigator to look into Gil’s background.
Gil’s horrified to learn about this, especially because this woman wasn’t their son’s first victim.
Pretty great blackmail material, right?
Love gets him to back down and apologizes to Sherry, which causes Theo to storm off.
She eventually takes him back to the bakery, where they talk about strategies for dealing with press attention.
It’s cozy, and Theo tries to kiss her.
She rebuffs him just as he gets a text from Matthew: the searchers found the murder weapon.
And again I ask, how strong are the Quinn-Goldbergs?
Getting Gil’s literal deadweight into place must’ve taken some serious muscles, or at least serious physics.
We see that look one more time this episode at the library.
Once Joe disabuses Marienne of the notion that he grew up rich, she rapidly warms up to him.
She’s flirting with him.
His internal monologue warns him that this isbad, and buddy, we are aware.
Six months after Gil’s death, Love has happily assimilated into the Madre Linda life.
The bakery’s a success, Sherry’s her BFF, and she looks radiant.
Joe, meanwhile, is bored to death and obsessed with his lawn.
He doesn’t have any friends, and he’s having performance issues in the bedroom.
The only time he comes close to letting himself off the leash is with Marienne at the library.
But he pulls himself back.
That night, Sherry and her husband Cary (yes, Sherry and Cary) come for dinner.
So off Joe goes on the camping trip with the guys, prepared to hate every moment.
It’s all very Iron John, with Cary bellowing, “Fire is life!”
(Excuse me sir, but as we all know,it’s football that is life.)
(I’ll save you the Google; it’s an antioxidant.)
This time Love’s the one who kisses him, and they have sex on the muddy ground.
Dottie knows what’s going on and says this is Love’s pattern.
She tried to fix Forty and then Joe.
Now she wants to fix Theo, which could destroy her family.
Love texts Theo and breaks it off.
The day of Henry’s first birthday party, Joe returns filthy, limping, and brandishing his-and-hers crossbows.
She compliments him for being different from the bully, and they agree to look out for each other.
Why do I have a bad feeling about the end of the nurse’s story?
Joe offers to check it out.
While he’s gone, Love overhears Theo getting a noisy bl–job in the backyard.
Ah, a teenager’s revenge.
Episode 6: “W.O.M.B.”
We’ll get to the Quinn-Goldbergs soon enough, but first… Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
Then again, Joe’s picturing Marienne.
Aww, I love a Joe stalking near-miss!
(W.O.M.B., naturally.)
After their blowup, Love reaches under her skirt and finds blood.
Then he sings her to sleep in the plush bed.
The next morning Love confides in Sherry, who scoffs at the idea of effortless soulmates.
She decided Cary was her person, and she works to make it happen.
With that, Love says goodbye to Forty and deletes his contact.
Then a knock on her door reveals Theo.
When he overhears a fight with her ex-husband, he charges up from the library basement.
He congratulates himself for thiswell-duhdiagnosis but comes running when Marienne summons him to help with the library sprinklers malfunction.
Since then, he’s used his clout and white-man privilege to smear her in the courts unfairly.
Poor Joe (and in this case, I’m not saying that sarcastically).
Joe realizes he’s putting Marienne in danger and tries to quit.
But they end up kissing, so Joe pivots to protecting Marienne from Love.
Bookbinding
Episode 7: “We’re All Mad Here”
Honestly, poor Theo.
She hints at problems with Joe and asks Theo to find out what his dad has on them.
It feels a little obvious to me, but Theo agrees to look into it.
And there’s a lot to find out.
She does, and Matthew immediately starts looking into Love’s movements.
Boom, sobriety gone.
Joe pays a hyperverbal high schooler who only takes Bitcoin $1,237.37 for the drugs and goes to work.
But his tank is empty, and Love’s left feeling awkward.
He’s uncomfortable doing that in her house but quickly gets over it.
The evening’s interrupted when Love gets a call that a drunk Dottie grabbed Henry from the sitter.
And yeah, somehow Joe’s only now considering that Love could be a danger to him.
Also, Ryan noticed Joe noticing him and is now using his day with Marienne against her in court.
Joe’s not interested but tells Love he’s glad they’re talking through decisions as a couple.
Theo shoots back that Matthew needs to let Natalie go, and Matthew kicks him out of the house.
Awww, these two don’t deserve any of this.
You never know withYou.
Joe, meanwhile, has been helping Dante prep Marienne for Friday’s custody hearing.
Okay, everybody hydrated?
It’s time for some Quinn-Goldberg-Conrad sexytimes.
Joe the serial monogamist (snort!)
Sherry and Cary arrive with literal suitcases full of sex toys and performance enhancers.
Yep, Cary’s a Cary-sexual.
(Given his body, I… kind of get it.)
Love uses the safe word and pulls him downstairs to loudly accuse him of thinking about somebody else.
She knows his patterns, after all; didn’t she kill Natalie for him?
Well, that’s a big ol’ oops.
Suspicious they’ve been heard, Joe grabs a meat mallet and they creep upstairs.
Cary sends an arrow Joe’s way, and Joe chases him into the backyard.
Love, meanwhile, subdues Sherry, and into the bakery cage they go.
He makes a Chekhov joke as he tucks it into his waistband, bless him.
When Marienne goes MIA, Joe finds her on a curb in front of a liquor store.
Joe pushes for more intimacy with her by confessing to killing his father to protect his mother.
Then he says he and Love are separating, and they go to Marienne’s apartment to have sex.
Love, however, has learned from Theo that Matthew’s been hacking surveillance footage all over town.
He begs her to escape Joe and leave town with him.
Then Sherry overplays her hand, referring to Love’s marriage as fatally broken.
Love doesn’t like hearing that and sends the gun Joe found into the cage.
But at the same time… maybe not the worst idea?
The blogging plan works, though.
Oh, if only she knew!
In the end, Joe knocks Ryan over the edge of a parking garage, but the dude survives.
That’s two for two in terms of super healthy guys surviving fairly serious falls courtesy of Joe.
Left with no choice, Joe stabs Ryan in the chest, settling for a mugging-gone-wrong scenario.
And now we get to the tensest moments of the whole season so far.
OH MY GOD, THEO, DON’T GO DOWN THERE.
He breaks down the door to the cage room and finds Sherry holding the gun on Cary.
The Conrads beg for Theo’s help, insisting that both JoeandLove are involved in Natalie’s murder.
Theo finally agrees to search for a key upstairs, and that’s where Love finds him.
This next scene is almost too heartbreaking to re-live.
Nothing Joe can’t handle, right?
Episode 10: “What Is Love?”
Friends,thisis how you end a season and wrap a story arc.
Joe’s feeling good about his future.
He and Marienne are escaping to France together, as she’s always dreamed of doing.
All he needs to do is deal with Theo’s body and sneak away from Love.
Problem, though: Theo’s not quite dead.
God, this poor kid.
Joe feels the same way and dumps him and his head wound at a hospital.
Now we come to the most uncomfortable roast chicken dinner in history.
Love found Joe’s bloody shirt and put two and two together when she hears about Ryan’s death.
She asks about Marienne, and Joe’s silence is the confession she needs.
Joe then says five dangerous words: “Love, I want a divorce.”
But Love dosed the knife handle with aconite, the paralytic she used to kill her first husband.
Joe wouldn’t be immobile on the floor if he hadn’t grabbed the knife in the first place.
While she’s gone, Matthew breaks in looking for Theo.
At Joe’s frantic blinking, he unlocks his phone to see a search for a hospital.
He runs out to find Theo, leaving Joe in Love’s clutches.
Dang, okay, this show officially has me rethinking the wisdom of facial ID.
When Marienne arrives, Love invites her inside for an adult conversation.
She accepts, unaware that Love’s got a carving fork behind her back.
Love instead tells Marienne to take Juliette and run.
When he realized she was growing wolfsbane, a.k.a.
aconite, in her garden, he researched antidotes and downed one before dinner.
This means he’s able to inject Love with the lethal dose of aconite he prepared forherearlier.
But he didn’t want Fiona to hate him the way his mother did.
The other goes into a chicken pot pie he’s prepared.
With that half-charred evidence, Joe’s declared dead, and Love becomes theMrs.
Lovett of Madre Linda, more famous even than Guinevere Beck.
In the aftermath, we see that the town’s bounced back just fine.
Matthew wheels Theo out of the hospital post-physical therapy, the two laughing together.
Dante and Lansing are excellent fathers to Henry.
Dottie even yields custody.
They’re giving TED Talks now.
Marienne’s vanished, but he’ll search the world for her if he has to.
And you know what?
I believe that he will.
